As The Worm Turns (A barefoot running story)

[bfsailor]

Pandemonium broke out at Garmin's secret mountain headquarters.
"What's going on? We've lost contact with all our test subjects, er.. I mean, customers!" cried Steve, the midnight watch commander.
"This will paralyze the running community! No one will know where they are! Some of those people will be trapped where they stand without shoes on! Think of the barefooters! For the love of God we've got to do something! Get Vibram headquarters on the hot line!"
"Relax, Steve", said TJ, his second in command. "I'm sure it's just a minor glitch and not a prelude to an alien invasion or anything. I'm sure all those barefoot runners will be just fine."
"Oh, okay. Wait, what?"

 

[Barefoot TJ]

Oh, please, don't bring me into this! Unless you make me first in command. Hee. Carry on.

 

[bfsailor]

The confused look was frozen on Steve's face as the leathery sole of TJ's bare foot connected with his forehead and knocked him out cold.
The years of barefoot running had turned her powerful legs into formidable weapons.
"I'm in charge, now, boys!" she chuckled softly.

 

[Bare Lee]

TJ had been working with a clandestine earthing society for several years, developing their power to channel the earth's ionic energy in the event of an alien invasion. They knew that once humanity had rediscovered the power of bare feet in a modern, post-Higgs bosonian context, humankind would become capable of great power, which the alien alliance would never allow. If the shod stage of civilization didn't destroy a planet's sentient beings, which it usually did, the calloused aliens would, before the newly barefoot could develop the kind of smooth, ever so slightly thickened pads needed to properly transduce earthing energy and plug into the universal force, altering the balance of power in the galaxy forever. The time to strike had come.

 

[bfsailor]

Miles away, Paul was running home from Ariel and Brandi's apartment. They had thrown him out just moments before - apparently they did NOT want to hear the story again of how he almost won Leadville that one year, if only he hadn't tripped over that rattlesnake.
His phone rang, startling him out of the "zone" he'd been in. That ringtone was assigned to only one person, and he had hoped to never hear it. "Hello TJ", he said, his feet continuing to fall silently against the pavement.
"Just shut up and listen, Paul - It's happening. Send out the signal. We have to assemble the team."

 

[Bare Lee]

Alfredo, Chi-Chi, and Sir Luxuryyacht were the first to respond. They quietly left their Zumba clinics, where they had been secretly recruiting the best potential earthing talent, and got their earthing conductors out, which had been cleverly disguised as yoga mats.
Chi-Chi first met Alfredo in front of a barefoot shoes store. Apparently none of the local authorities had realized the absurdity of the front for the earthing society's operations. Once in the back room, full of empty shoe boxes with 'barefoot' shoes inside of them, the trio worked quickly to reprogram all the Garmins.
"Chi-chi," quavered Alfredo, "I can't believe the time is finally here."
"I just hope everyone has been practicing their mythical midfoot strike," responded Alfredo calmly, "we're going to need all the earth contact we can get to repel this group of aliens."
Just then Sir Luxuryyacht rushed in.
"Bad news fellas."
"What?" replied Chi-chi and Alfredo in unison.
"I'm afraid too many of our dirt roads near the base in Utah have been paved over with chipseal. I don't know if we'll have enough conductivity to repel the attack."

 

[bfsailor]

Alfredo's eyes went wide. "Chipseal! Those bastards! Between that and the thumbtacks in New York they're always one step ahead of us!"
"Don't panic, Alfie," Sir Luxuryyacht said. "We'll just have to use Plan B."
"Oh God, not Plan B!" This from Chi-chi, now curled up in a fetal position on the floor.
"There's no other choice." "But first, while there's still time, I need to get my long training run in - you guys wait here 'til I get back!"
With that, Sir Luxuryyacht (SLY to his close friends) kicked off his flip-flops and headed out the door.

 

[Bare Lee]

As they saw off the shoddie, Chi-chi asked Alfredo:
"What was Raymond doing with flip-flops on?" Chi-Chi used SLY's first name, belying his affection for his clad pal.
Both of them had suspected SLY as a double agent for some time, but this confirmed it. In his haste to get to the barefoot shoes storefront front, SLY had forgotten to remove his footwear, and had given himself away. As they looked out the window after him, they saw him tip-toeing the mildly abrasive sidewalk gingerly, just like a shoddie.
Alfredo quickly contacted TJ through DailyMile with news of the deception.
TJ titled her reply 'extra training' code for extraterrestrial. She had always wondered at Sir Luxuryyach-t's unusual name, pronounced throatwobbler mangrove. Now it hit her: The phonetics were from Zoddie, and ancient alien tongue once spoken on the planet Nike.
SLY was a alien spy! TJ had realized.
In her text, TJ typed 'hill repeats,' code for history repeats, and immediately sounded the Garmin training alert.

 

[bfsailor]

TJ woke up feeling lousy. She had tossed and turned all night.
Three weeks had passed, and everything had gone to hell. The Garmin network was back on-line; Sly had been exposed as a double agent and disappeared; and no one had heard from Chi Chi or Alfredo for days. The aliens were still in orbit and the resistance had missed their window of opportunity. What else could go wrong?
"Oh well, as long as I'm up I might as well get in a good run," she thought, and began squeezing her toes into the VFF's that were never far from her bed.
There was a soft "ping" from her laptop (her computer, that is) and she glanced at the screen. "Oh great!" she groaned.
"What does HE want? And why contact me now?"
It was Ulrich - an old running partner she hadn't seen in years. He had reconnected a few months earlier through the BRS - claimed he had "seen the light" and started running barefoot. She didn't trust him - he had been a lifelong heelstriker. Plus the timing seemed suspicious. What was he up to anyway?

 

[Barefoot TJ]

Yes, what was he up to? I'm curious to know...but first..."VFFs never far from her bed?" Oh that's right, this is all fiction. I will stay the course for the sake of finding out what the hell that Ulrich wants from me now, damn him. Carry on.

 

[bfsailor]

(This is a work of fiction - any resemblance to real barefoot runners is PURELY coincidental)

Ulrich's e-mail was as abrupt as it was puzzling.
"You're probably wondering why I'm contacting you now. I know more than you think about your little operation. But if you want the real details you'll have to ask your buddy Lee. He may not admit it, but he's been in touch with me the whole time. In fact, we've been putting in a few barefoot miles together. I'll be in touch"

TJ couldn't believe it. Ulrich and Lee - she didn't even think they knew each other. Did they know about the aliens and the Earthing resistance movement?

She angrily peeled off the VFF's, glanced briefly at the Nike Frees and the Merrell Trail Gloves thrown in the corner, and headed out the door completely barefoot. She needed to think, and the feel of her soles against the ground would help her focus her thoughts.

 

[Barefoot TJ]

That's more like it...minus the Frees, of course.