It was a dark and muggy night, It had been much too hot to run earlier, but now Ariel was determined to do something, anything would be better than running on the treadmill. She slipped off her sandals and headed out into the blackness---
As The Worm Turns (A barefoot running story)
- Thread starter barefootn
- Start date
But as she turned the first corner, she saw something illuminated in the light of a street lamp. It was a foot; a strong, virile foot, with five Apollonian toes. She knew that foot. The man stepped into the light. "Hello, Ariel. I didn't think I would ever see you again."
"Paul" Ariel said, not the least bit surprised to see him.
Ariel walked over to Paul and initiated the usual secret foot shake of their kind, out of respect.
"You have a lot of nerve showing up here, after what you did to me."
Paul cracked his toes, preparing for what would inevitably come next.
Ariel walked over to Paul and initiated the usual secret foot shake of their kind, out of respect.
"You have a lot of nerve showing up here, after what you did to me."
Paul cracked his toes, preparing for what would inevitably come next.
The sound of his cracking toes was all Ariel needed to hear. She cracked hers at Paul, putting a little more emphasis on each toe crack than he had been able to muster up. It was a challenge and she was ready to meet it. She'd been training. This time would be different. Where he had only hammered out a power chord, she played a pentatonic arpeggio of toe-joint virtuosity.
Ariel had always disliked the way in which Paul went deliberately out of his way to step on the slugs.
"The slime builds great toughness in the feet" he always told her, but she thought he just loved to see her squirm.
Well that wasn't going to happen any more!
"The slime builds great toughness in the feet" he always told her, but she thought he just loved to see her squirm.
Well that wasn't going to happen any more!
Unfortunately they were stuffless, and so when it came time to pay the tab, they beat their pads out of there.
On they ran through the humid darkness, unaware that high above, in an orbiting starship, two alien beings from the planet Xaxthar were observing them closely.
"They practice forward locomotion as a form of recreation, without covering their pedal extremities", Zubendar pointed out to his commander.
"Clearly this is a more advanced culture than we believed", replied Quorox.
"They practice forward locomotion as a form of recreation, without covering their pedal extremities", Zubendar pointed out to his commander.
"Clearly this is a more advanced culture than we believed", replied Quorox.
You see, the Xaxtharians were galactic pedophiles, and they loved nothing better than to go planet-hopping every millennium or two collecting pedal species. And the bipedal ones were a special favorite. They were in luck.
"Don't you mean podophiles?" asked Grixnar.
Although he was knowlegable, he was looked down upon being a tripod himself, very handy for keeping level on uneven surfaces, but not a trait that got you in with the in crowd.
Although he was knowlegable, he was looked down upon being a tripod himself, very handy for keeping level on uneven surfaces, but not a trait that got you in with the in crowd.
"Well, yes, but ..." continued Grixnar, displaying once again his impeccable preparation for this prancing pedal picnic, "but on this planet that now refers to fans of a certain manufacturing company named after a common temperate fruit. And fans of bare lower digits are here thought of as somehow perverse, akin to those who have relations with others who are still incapable of reproducing themselves.
Meanwhile, back at Ariel's apartment, her roommate and frequent barefoot running partner Brandi was blissfully unaware of the impending alien invasion. She made a few more adjustments on the tripod-mounted camera and tripped the self-timer.
"I'll show those clowns at the Barefoot Pub what a REAL female athlete looks like!" she thought as she stepped in front of the lens and peeled off her sweat-soaked micro-fiber BRS T-shirt.
"I'll show those clowns at the Barefoot Pub what a REAL female athlete looks like!" she thought as she stepped in front of the lens and peeled off her sweat-soaked micro-fiber BRS T-shirt.
But just as the auto timer was to go off, her physioball rolled into the table behind her and knocked her paleo dinner onto her lengthening mat, causing her to lose her balance in startled reaction and crash into her sit-stand desk.
"Oh no!" she screamed
She struggled to regain her footing as her bare feet slipped in the spilled acai berries and raw nuts.
Just then Ariel and Paul walked in, still invigorated from their run and the renewed tension between them.
"Brandi! I thought you were gone for the evening!" hissed Ariel.
"You look great, Brandi!" Paul said, a little too enthusiastically. "Your feet, I mean. So muscular. Have you been running more than usual?"
In the orbiting starship, Grixnar sat back and smiled (if you could call it a smile). "Now this is getting interesting!" he thought.
She struggled to regain her footing as her bare feet slipped in the spilled acai berries and raw nuts.
Just then Ariel and Paul walked in, still invigorated from their run and the renewed tension between them.
"Brandi! I thought you were gone for the evening!" hissed Ariel.
"You look great, Brandi!" Paul said, a little too enthusiastically. "Your feet, I mean. So muscular. Have you been running more than usual?"
In the orbiting starship, Grixnar sat back and smiled (if you could call it a smile). "Now this is getting interesting!" he thought.
Grixnar began flopping his tripedal extremities in excited anticipation, and didn't see the satellite coming up on the horizon. He accidentally knocked out the one that controls all the Garmins and MapMyRun apps, thus depriving all barefoot-barefoot runners and barefoot shoes runners as well of statistical knowledge of their trotting gaits and soleful pleasure. This caused them to begin bending their knees and landing on their forefeet in an exaggerated fashion.
