Perfect!

Perfectly disturbing. Did you buy them for your husband?

Nah, I'm just going to lace up his real feet while he is sleeping and tell him that he has new, permanent shoes when he wakes up. Lol.
 
Or you could go this route...
3120980059_af71421baf.jpg
 
Ha, Joel, I wish! You should actually see my feet! Totaling eight long scars now. Yuck!
 
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Siiiiiiiiick! Bleh, I think I must hurl now...