Last night my 8-year old son asked me "Dad, is the internet always right?"
With a a big smile on my face I replied "Why yes, yes it is".
With a a big smile on my face I replied "Why yes, yes it is".
Out of the mouth of babes. What are some of your kid's best comments?
- Thread starter theshortwhiteguy
- Start date
Funny you post this. Just yesterday, we were in town and my son asked to go to McDonald's. I said no, it's not good for you, he said "but I'm not too big yet."
He already knows what eating there will do to you...
He already knows what eating there will do to you...
I was thinking about this earlier this morning.
My three year old told me a story last night about how when he was a baby he went outside naked and a bee stung him......... And that is why he has a penis.
My three year old told me a story last night about how when he was a baby he went outside naked and a bee stung him......... And that is why he has a penis.
I was thinking about this earlier this morning.
My three year old told me a story last night about how when he was a baby he went outside naked and a bee stung him......... And that is why he has a penis.
When we're changing his diaper, my son yells at the dogs not to eat his penis.
NickW
Guest
That is funny. When my 3 year old was 1.5 he would run around yelling that he has a penis and even told the DishTV person that he has a penis.
He asked my MIL and FIL if they have penis'. My MIL and FIL are VERY conservative people and they were so embarrassed. I just sat there and laughed.
NickW
Guest
My mother in law was changing my sons poopy diaper this past weekend when my son suddenly exclaimed "Grandmas touching the penis!" She was so mortified! Hahahaha! I think grandma and grandpa are now done changing diapers when we are over there! (Obviously she was just cleaning him up so please don't anyone take that the wrong way)
At the gas station when my daughter was about 4, I wanted to put 20 bucks in the tank but got distracted and went over. I said, 'oops, I put too much gas in the car' and she said, 'Too much gas? Now we're really gonna take off!'
Haha
Haha
Me, when I was like 4,to my mother who had told me to make sure and wash around my wee-wee when I was in the tub: 'Mom! Stop calling it a wee-wee!'
Mom, probably pretty nervous: 'Well, what should I call it then?'
Me; It's a dick! '
There were mostly older kids in the neighborhood and they polluted my mind pretty early on...
Mom, probably pretty nervous: 'Well, what should I call it then?'
Me; It's a dick! '
There were mostly older kids in the neighborhood and they polluted my mind pretty early on...
yesterday morning my son asked me if we were going to have winter this year.
we live in the midwest, on the east side of big ole lake michigan, where we have recently gotten OOODLES of snow and frigid temps----unreported gobs of lake effect snow.
I said "oh no, they cancelled winter this year, didn't you hear? it was on the news."
My daughter, who is used to my shenanigans, grinned and agreed in the back seat.
"really?!" my son says
So I say "yep, and it's too bad, because I was really hoping for snow this year"
He gets excited "why, there's a whole pile of snow right over there!"
"Oh, that's just salt from the salt mines; they didn't know where to put it"
He frowns.
My motto: kids are like miniature stoners, only cuter and easier to deal with because of the cuteness
we live in the midwest, on the east side of big ole lake michigan, where we have recently gotten OOODLES of snow and frigid temps----unreported gobs of lake effect snow.
I said "oh no, they cancelled winter this year, didn't you hear? it was on the news."
My daughter, who is used to my shenanigans, grinned and agreed in the back seat.
"really?!" my son says
So I say "yep, and it's too bad, because I was really hoping for snow this year"
He gets excited "why, there's a whole pile of snow right over there!"
"Oh, that's just salt from the salt mines; they didn't know where to put it"
He frowns.
My motto: kids are like miniature stoners, only cuter and easier to deal with because of the cuteness
happens to the best of us....I was thinking about this earlier this morning.
My three year old told me a story last night about how when he was a baby he went outside naked and a bee stung him......... And that is why he has a penis.
I happen to write down nearly everything my kids say that I think is funny or sweet or clever. Here are some:
Today, my six year old started choking on a piece of candy. I immediately reached for him to help him. He made some hocking noises like he was trying to hock it back up. Then when he was done he says, "I'm back. I'm alive again."
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My five year old asks, "Mommy, are there taste bugs on your tongue?"
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My five year old says, "Mommy, how cute are you?" I said, "Not very." He says, "I love you still." Precious!
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After picking up pine cones with his older brother and Daddy all day, my five year old was talking in his sleep and said, "nanananananana pine cone, dummy!"
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My five year old and I were watching the opening of the Celebrity Apprentice, listening to the Money, Money, Money song, and he says, "Mommy, for some reason my butt's dancin'." Hee.
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My five year old was playing Mario Brothers today, when he turns to me and says, after wiping his brow, "Do I look okay? I'm hot. My brain is burning up with ideas."
Today, my six year old started choking on a piece of candy. I immediately reached for him to help him. He made some hocking noises like he was trying to hock it back up. Then when he was done he says, "I'm back. I'm alive again."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My five year old asks, "Mommy, are there taste bugs on your tongue?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My five year old says, "Mommy, how cute are you?" I said, "Not very." He says, "I love you still." Precious!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After picking up pine cones with his older brother and Daddy all day, my five year old was talking in his sleep and said, "nanananananana pine cone, dummy!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My five year old and I were watching the opening of the Celebrity Apprentice, listening to the Money, Money, Money song, and he says, "Mommy, for some reason my butt's dancin'." Hee.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My five year old was playing Mario Brothers today, when he turns to me and says, after wiping his brow, "Do I look okay? I'm hot. My brain is burning up with ideas."
Last night my 8-year old son asked me "Dad, is the internet always right?"
With a a big smile on my face I replied "Why yes, yes it is".
My motto: mother internet knows all.....all that is true....all that is untrue
Definitely my eldest's greatest hit...
When she was 3, they did something at day care for Martin Luther King day. Very age appropriate, but they mentioned his assasination. So on the way out, I guess she was confused about the assassination, and she asked me.... "MOM! Those people who killed Dr. Martin Luther King Jr? Did they EAT Dr. Martin Luther King Jr?!?!?!"
Then we went out to a restaurant for dinner. She proceeded to tell our waiter about the Lesson of Dr. Martin Luther King Junior. About how everyone could do whatever they wanted, and have whatever job they wanted, and sit wherever they wanted, no matter what color skin they had. "Dr. Martin Luther King Junior had brown skin. But you have tan skin like my daddy...." She said. Our waiter then corrected her. He, apparently, did NOT have tan skin like her daddy. He was, he informed her, Blackinese.
Another good one....
My daughter and I were assembling goodie bags for her 7 year old birthday party. She asked me if we could put in "Whiskey Bottles for kids." I said, "Audrey, do you mean those little wax bottles, with the juice in them, and you bite the wax top off and drink the juice?" "No mom," she said, "You know, Whiskey bottles for kids!!! You buy them at the liquor store, but they are up in the front by the cashier. You know what kinds I mean - the ones you find under the slide at the playground and then sometimes you step on them in the parking lot when you are getting out of the car..."
When she was 3, they did something at day care for Martin Luther King day. Very age appropriate, but they mentioned his assasination. So on the way out, I guess she was confused about the assassination, and she asked me.... "MOM! Those people who killed Dr. Martin Luther King Jr? Did they EAT Dr. Martin Luther King Jr?!?!?!"
Then we went out to a restaurant for dinner. She proceeded to tell our waiter about the Lesson of Dr. Martin Luther King Junior. About how everyone could do whatever they wanted, and have whatever job they wanted, and sit wherever they wanted, no matter what color skin they had. "Dr. Martin Luther King Junior had brown skin. But you have tan skin like my daddy...." She said. Our waiter then corrected her. He, apparently, did NOT have tan skin like her daddy. He was, he informed her, Blackinese.
Another good one....
My daughter and I were assembling goodie bags for her 7 year old birthday party. She asked me if we could put in "Whiskey Bottles for kids." I said, "Audrey, do you mean those little wax bottles, with the juice in them, and you bite the wax top off and drink the juice?" "No mom," she said, "You know, Whiskey bottles for kids!!! You buy them at the liquor store, but they are up in the front by the cashier. You know what kinds I mean - the ones you find under the slide at the playground and then sometimes you step on them in the parking lot when you are getting out of the car..."
When my son and daughter were about 4 and 2 1/2, I shot a deer during hunting season and had it hanging in the garage. My daughter asked "what are you going to do with the deer?"
I told here I'm going make it into meat and hamburger. My 4 year old son said "and we're going to eat it"
My 2 1/2 year old daughter then said "With a salad.....that would be nice"
I told here I'm going make it into meat and hamburger. My 4 year old son said "and we're going to eat it"
My 2 1/2 year old daughter then said "With a salad.....that would be nice"
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