*This is Chapter 3 of the Invention of Shoes, by Bulbus Buggins. You can find Chapter 1 here and Chapter 2 here.
The next day, Fredo set of for the Frollicking Frog in the town of Gouda. Just outside of his own little Habbit town, in a wood where he often played, he ran into his old friend, Mason Robifat. Mason was sitting on a log, rubbing his feet.
"What's the matter?" asked Fredo.
"It's these darn foot covers. Everyone thinks they are so useful, but they don't let my toes splay when I run, and they definitely don't match my kilt. I posted my review of them on my Interknoob site, Soleless Cantering College. You didn't read it?
"No, I didn't read it," answered Fredo. "If you hate them so much, why are you wearing them?"
"Because EVERYONE is wearing them, except you. And this month's issue of Habbit Runners Monthly included a scintillating article about how important it is for all Habbits to get the right kind of foot covers depending on the knobbiness of their knees. And if you look under my kilt, you'll see I have very knobby knees," Mason explained.
"But you don't have to wear the foot covers," Fred insisted. "No one has proven that they make us faster, or less injury-prone, or improve balance. So far, all I've seen is the opposite. Habbits are heel-striking when they run in foot covers, and many are complaining of joint pain. And my uncle Bulbus is convinced Habbits will eventually stop walking and running and instead invent new ways to travel without using our feet. He envisions a future Piddle Searth full of fat, lazy Habbits."
"You don't have to convince me," Mason said as he jumped up and launched his foot covers into the nearby stream. "Where are you going, anyway?" he asked Fredo.
"I'm headed to Gouda to meet my uncle. Bulbus is going to help me find Cross McDougmore so he can tell us how to end this foot cover madness."
"Great, I'm coming with you. I've always wanted to meet Cross McDougmore." So Mason and Fredo left the wood and turned onto the road to Gouda.
...................
Meanwhile, Nikeloss' family was dealing with the success of his foot cover business. Having quit his job counting beans, Nikeloss' now spent his days locked in his office meeting with Habbit attorneys who were busy suing anyone who copied Nikeloss' foot cover designs. He was constantly interrupted by his wife, Twittlyn, who would regularly call to ask his opinion on the redesign of their new summer home in the Lionskills. Having built his new offices and factory right next to their home, Nikeloss no longer needed to walk to work and back, and his waistline was beginning to show the effects of inactivity. Nikeloss worked long hours, no longer showed up at his weekly Log Rolling game, and missed meals with his family.
Twittlyn was enjoying the family's new status in the Habbit community. She split her time between refurnishing their old house, working with the architect on the redesign of their new summer home, and meeting with her new friends at the exclusive Beaversly Hilltop Club. She no longer met with her old friends for the Tuesday Frappadilfo-klatsch at Flat Rock. Instead, Twittlyn attended a Tuesday and Thursday morning Swerving 'n Rolling class at the Hilltop Club, which she never missed. Since she only wore the highest-heeled foot covers Nikeloss' company made, she had significantly curtailed her running and walking, and she needed the Swerving 'n Rolling class to keep her figure. Since Twittlyn's new recipe, Sugar Habbit Gummy Beans, had gone viral on the Interknoob, she had been asked to write a cookbook entitled, Carbo Loading 24/7.. She rarely saw Nikeloss, and mostly left Nudley to the nanny.
Nudley's life seemed grand. He was the most popular kid at the Habbit school, always wore the latest foot covers, and could spend all day playing on his Them. But he often complained about having to run so far to school and back every day. His foot covers with the dynamic weightless nano springs were supposed to make that running easier, but his back, hips and knees hurt. And he was noticing changes in his feet. The muscles seemed to be shrinking, and the soles of his feet were soft and would blister from running in foot covers. And when he took off his foot covers to go to bed, he noticed the nerves on the bottom of his feet no longer felt the small indentations in the wood floor and carpets. It was as if the foot covers were slowly cutting off his connection to Piddle Searth. The changes worried Nudley, but he kept his concerns to himself.
...................
Back on the road to Gouda, Mason and Fredo spied Mason's cousins, Pickled Tamali and Juan Durfly, jogging toward them. Pickled Tamali, or PT for short, was carrying her I-Slab, one of the new devices for connecting to the Interknoob. Juan had his usual wild-eyed look, as if he was constantly on the lookout for his old nemesis, the Tregans. Tregans were Habbits who only ate things that had actually fallen from a tree.
Fredo and Mason greeted the two, then Fredo looked down at their feet. "Hey, what kind of foot covers are those? It doesn't look like you're wearing anything on your feet. But I can see straps."
Juan answered. "These are the new Lunatix from Barehead Ned, the Habbit that's always running around talking about McDougmore and his trip to the Tarahumdoom mountain. Ned secretly invented his own style of foot cover. Look, its ultra-thin on the bottom, so I can still feel the ground. And I can outrun any Tregan in these," he said proudly.
PT looked at Fredo's and Mason's feet. "Hey, wait, you two aren't wearing ANY foot covers. Why is that?"
"Because foot covers are bad. I don't have time to go into the details. We're on our way to meet my uncle Bulbus at the Frollicking Frog in Gouda tomorrow, and he's going to help us find Chris McDougmore, the sage of all Habbits, so he can tell us how to stop this plague of foot covers," Fredo explained.
"Hee. That is exciting! I'm going to post about it right now on my Interknoob forum, Fellowship of the Habbit Log Rollers." PT was known far and wide as a facilitator of Habbits, and she had embraced the Interknoob as a tool to bring Habbits together. She was also the inventor of Captain Tamali's Taffy Tonic, the favorite adult beverage of Habbits everywhere.
Juan turned to PT. "Hey PT, you up for an adventure? Let's go to Gouda with Fredo and Mason. I'll go and tell Ned that he should come too."
Juan ran off to find Ned, keeping one eye out for those pesky Tregans. Fredo, Mason and PT continued on toward Gouda, unaware that Nikeloss' spies had gotten wind of Fredo's plans...
*All of the characters, places and events in this story are imaginary. If any of them resemble anyone or anything that you recognize, you are hallucinating.
The next day, Fredo set of for the Frollicking Frog in the town of Gouda. Just outside of his own little Habbit town, in a wood where he often played, he ran into his old friend, Mason Robifat. Mason was sitting on a log, rubbing his feet.
"What's the matter?" asked Fredo.
"It's these darn foot covers. Everyone thinks they are so useful, but they don't let my toes splay when I run, and they definitely don't match my kilt. I posted my review of them on my Interknoob site, Soleless Cantering College. You didn't read it?
"No, I didn't read it," answered Fredo. "If you hate them so much, why are you wearing them?"
"Because EVERYONE is wearing them, except you. And this month's issue of Habbit Runners Monthly included a scintillating article about how important it is for all Habbits to get the right kind of foot covers depending on the knobbiness of their knees. And if you look under my kilt, you'll see I have very knobby knees," Mason explained.
"But you don't have to wear the foot covers," Fred insisted. "No one has proven that they make us faster, or less injury-prone, or improve balance. So far, all I've seen is the opposite. Habbits are heel-striking when they run in foot covers, and many are complaining of joint pain. And my uncle Bulbus is convinced Habbits will eventually stop walking and running and instead invent new ways to travel without using our feet. He envisions a future Piddle Searth full of fat, lazy Habbits."
"You don't have to convince me," Mason said as he jumped up and launched his foot covers into the nearby stream. "Where are you going, anyway?" he asked Fredo.
"I'm headed to Gouda to meet my uncle. Bulbus is going to help me find Cross McDougmore so he can tell us how to end this foot cover madness."
"Great, I'm coming with you. I've always wanted to meet Cross McDougmore." So Mason and Fredo left the wood and turned onto the road to Gouda.
...................
Meanwhile, Nikeloss' family was dealing with the success of his foot cover business. Having quit his job counting beans, Nikeloss' now spent his days locked in his office meeting with Habbit attorneys who were busy suing anyone who copied Nikeloss' foot cover designs. He was constantly interrupted by his wife, Twittlyn, who would regularly call to ask his opinion on the redesign of their new summer home in the Lionskills. Having built his new offices and factory right next to their home, Nikeloss no longer needed to walk to work and back, and his waistline was beginning to show the effects of inactivity. Nikeloss worked long hours, no longer showed up at his weekly Log Rolling game, and missed meals with his family.
Twittlyn was enjoying the family's new status in the Habbit community. She split her time between refurnishing their old house, working with the architect on the redesign of their new summer home, and meeting with her new friends at the exclusive Beaversly Hilltop Club. She no longer met with her old friends for the Tuesday Frappadilfo-klatsch at Flat Rock. Instead, Twittlyn attended a Tuesday and Thursday morning Swerving 'n Rolling class at the Hilltop Club, which she never missed. Since she only wore the highest-heeled foot covers Nikeloss' company made, she had significantly curtailed her running and walking, and she needed the Swerving 'n Rolling class to keep her figure. Since Twittlyn's new recipe, Sugar Habbit Gummy Beans, had gone viral on the Interknoob, she had been asked to write a cookbook entitled, Carbo Loading 24/7.. She rarely saw Nikeloss, and mostly left Nudley to the nanny.
Nudley's life seemed grand. He was the most popular kid at the Habbit school, always wore the latest foot covers, and could spend all day playing on his Them. But he often complained about having to run so far to school and back every day. His foot covers with the dynamic weightless nano springs were supposed to make that running easier, but his back, hips and knees hurt. And he was noticing changes in his feet. The muscles seemed to be shrinking, and the soles of his feet were soft and would blister from running in foot covers. And when he took off his foot covers to go to bed, he noticed the nerves on the bottom of his feet no longer felt the small indentations in the wood floor and carpets. It was as if the foot covers were slowly cutting off his connection to Piddle Searth. The changes worried Nudley, but he kept his concerns to himself.
...................
Back on the road to Gouda, Mason and Fredo spied Mason's cousins, Pickled Tamali and Juan Durfly, jogging toward them. Pickled Tamali, or PT for short, was carrying her I-Slab, one of the new devices for connecting to the Interknoob. Juan had his usual wild-eyed look, as if he was constantly on the lookout for his old nemesis, the Tregans. Tregans were Habbits who only ate things that had actually fallen from a tree.
Fredo and Mason greeted the two, then Fredo looked down at their feet. "Hey, what kind of foot covers are those? It doesn't look like you're wearing anything on your feet. But I can see straps."
Juan answered. "These are the new Lunatix from Barehead Ned, the Habbit that's always running around talking about McDougmore and his trip to the Tarahumdoom mountain. Ned secretly invented his own style of foot cover. Look, its ultra-thin on the bottom, so I can still feel the ground. And I can outrun any Tregan in these," he said proudly.
PT looked at Fredo's and Mason's feet. "Hey, wait, you two aren't wearing ANY foot covers. Why is that?"
"Because foot covers are bad. I don't have time to go into the details. We're on our way to meet my uncle Bulbus at the Frollicking Frog in Gouda tomorrow, and he's going to help us find Chris McDougmore, the sage of all Habbits, so he can tell us how to stop this plague of foot covers," Fredo explained.
"Hee. That is exciting! I'm going to post about it right now on my Interknoob forum, Fellowship of the Habbit Log Rollers." PT was known far and wide as a facilitator of Habbits, and she had embraced the Interknoob as a tool to bring Habbits together. She was also the inventor of Captain Tamali's Taffy Tonic, the favorite adult beverage of Habbits everywhere.
Juan turned to PT. "Hey PT, you up for an adventure? Let's go to Gouda with Fredo and Mason. I'll go and tell Ned that he should come too."
Juan ran off to find Ned, keeping one eye out for those pesky Tregans. Fredo, Mason and PT continued on toward Gouda, unaware that Nikeloss' spies had gotten wind of Fredo's plans...
*All of the characters, places and events in this story are imaginary. If any of them resemble anyone or anything that you recognize, you are hallucinating.
