Human Feet Originally Used For Walking, Anthropologists Report

[Barefoot TJ]

Human Feet Originally Used For Walking, Anthropologists Report

July 22, 1998 | ISSUE 48•17 ISSUE 33•25
OXFORD, ENGLAND—A new report in the Journal Of The Anthropological Society Of Oxford reveals that human feet were likely once used as a means of extravehicular locomotion. "Apparently, as recently as 20 years ago, the foot was used in a process called 'walking,' by which the human body actually propelled itself," the report read. "Starting sometime in the late 1970s, these crude early feet gradually evolved into their present function of operating the gas and brake pedals on automobiles." The same team of researchers discovered in 1994 that the human brain was once used for various problem-solving applications before evolving into an absorption/storage unit for lyrics to TV-show theme songs.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/human-feet-originally-used-for-walking-anthropolog,3839/

 

[DavidP]

It is hard to imagine how the foot and lower extremities could have ever supported the entire weight of the body due to the inherent structural deficienies. Human feet have adapted totally to the natural function of providing pressure to auto pedals. Additionally the significant hazards associated locomotion on horizontal surfaces such as germs, broken glass, used hypodermic needles, and pet excrement would lead in most cases to death before reaching a reproductive age creating an evolutionary dead end. I think this myth of humans walking in the recent past as mentioned in the article is based more on fanciful thinking than science.

 

[Mike R]

I think by us going against the natural order, we are upsetting the Greek God "Nike", who will bring his wrath down on us in the form of placing the aforementioned broken glass, used hypodermic needles and such, in our paths as well as to create "barefoot shoes" to dilute our ranks.