Dear Abby, is it bad if I have a "run spouse"?

[theshortwhiteguy]

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Dear Abby,​

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This morning I took my "swim spouse" who, since our pool is now closed is my "run spouse", for her birthday run of 6-8 miles (she ran 7.5 & I ran 6.82). My "real" spouse loves to hear our run gossip - like Wednesday's run when my "run spouse" and I had "oral" sex, as in she talked non-stop about the 50 Shades of Grey series. Am I missing something by not reading these books?​

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Sincerely,​

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The Barefoot Playah'​

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*All names have been changed to protect the ill-informed (EMPHASIZED)dipshit runner who might coincidentally be The Short White Guy!​

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[jldeleon]

You are not missing anything - they have just done a great job of marketing it. My husband read it. Not me. But he told me about it. Anyone who finds that book exciting needs a major tune-up in their own sex life. Just say'in...

It is also inaccurate in it's portrayal of BDSM. BDSM is NOT -I repeat- NOT about sex. It is all about the pscyhology of taking and giving control. If there is sexual side-kick from it, so be it, but that is not where it's pleasurable underpinnings stem from.

Furthermore, that dude's "Dungeon" (special rooms set up for BDSM play), sucks. Most people have experimented with handcuffs, tying people up, spankings, maybe a bit of whipping. It's not until you get out the kitchen utensils that you have a REAL Dungeon!!!

 

[Woodsman]

Run spouse? Never heard of that. Is that someone you carry on your back while they yell at you to slow down?

 

[RunningPirate]

It's not until you get out the kitchen utensils that you have a REAL Dungeon!!!

Mental Note: If you ever are visiting Jen's house, be sure to wash the rubber spatula and the ice-cream scoop before using them. Also, the tongs - for the love of all that is holy, wash those tongs!

On the large, however, I agree with Jen. In fact, somewheres on the internet, I saw someone post the following thought: "I would not degrade my porn collection with a copy "50 Shades of Grey".

 

[jldeleon]

In fact, somewheres on the internet...

Do you also say "I'm wearing underwears?" Just taking a peculiar survey.

 

[jldeleon]

Mental Note: If you ever are visiting Jen's house, be sure to wash the rubber spatula and the ice-cream scoop before using them. Also, the tongs - for the love of all that is holy, wash those tongs!

Maybe this is why none of my friends ever eat at my house, or, maybe why they don't come to my house at all. Lol.

 

[RunningPirate]

Maybe this is why none of my friends ever eat at my house, or, maybe why they don't come to my house at all. Lol.

...and they definitely don't eat pancakes...or ice cream...or anything that needs to be picked up with tongs...

...and no, I say "underwear" - singular

 

[RunningPirate]

Maybe this is why none of my friends ever eat at my house, or, maybe why they don't come to my house at all. Lol.

By the by, I bought a rubber spatula today...yes, Jen, I thought of you...

 

[Lomad]

...and they definitely don't eat pancakes...or ice cream...or anything that needs to be picked up with tongs...

...and no, I say "underwear" - singular

"drawers' is the approved nomenclature. N00b.

 

[RunningPirate]

"drawers' is the approved nomenclature. N00b.

Noob? You mean there's a contingent of folks that are experienced in referring to underwear?

But for that matter, does that mean your dresser has a "drawers drawer?"

 

[Bare Lee]

Most people have experimented with handcuffs, tying people up, spankings, maybe a bit of whipping.

You mean most people you've dated? For some of us, the regular stuff never gets boring.

 

[NickW]

You mean most people you've dated? For some of us, the regular stuff never gets boring.

Couldn't have said it any better...

 

[pilotrunner]

Only if she's hotter than your real wife...

 

[Lomad]

Noob? You mean there's a contingent of folks that are experienced in referring to underwear?

But for that matter, does that mean your dresser has a "drawers drawer?"

Drawers drawer is right below the shirt shelf.

 

[RunningPirate]

Drawers drawer is right below the shirt shelf.

...and above the socks box...