Originally, the FBI sent me to infiltrate and begin disseminating disinformation about the dangers of barefoot running, and encourage splinter factions, such as barefoot purists versus minimalists or cadence counters versus 'just run'ers, with false flags and broken glass implanted in discussion groups, just as it had done at RW (Nike is a major campaign contributor to both parties, second only to Goldman Sachs). I even hijacked a thread all the way to Cuba once as a misdirection. But eventually, something like the Stockholm Syndrome took hold and I converted. Once in a while operatives still try to capture and shoe me (they have even recruited my toddler's day care teachers!), but I always resist. Usually I can hear their clomp clomping from a long ways away, so I leave my public library computer silently and bare, and disappear into the "Hobbies and Gardening" section for a rendezvous with TJ's brother-in-law, who then wisks me away to the nearest safehouse or sandy beach. Do I have regrets? No! I am not a shoe size, and will not rest until all feet are set free.
OK, nevermind, it was Google.