Normoweight as a minority?

[RunningPirate]

I need to lose weight, so no comments directed to me, but it does drive me mad when others are making the effort to lose weight & people trying to push cake or sweets on them. Remember one "friend" getting into a right huff with me in the past because she brought cake in for me, knowing full well I was on a strict health kick, and I wouldn't eat it!

There's a guy on the radio named Tom Leykis who says - in so many words - that friends and family are dream killers. If you're trying to go to school or work harder to further your career, they call you a workaholic. If you're trying to lose weight, it's "C'mon, one bite won't hurt; besides you exercise so much". It's schtick, but there is a degree of reality to it...

 

[Sid]

I'm 5'10" and 205lbs (depending on the week, but you get the gist) - giving me a BMI of 29.4 - just a shade under obese. Now, yes, I can lose about 20 lbs of fat or so

I hear you. I assume you mean that it is theoretically possible for you to lose 20lbs of fat, albeit a Herculean feat? I've definitely felt that way a few times!

I would not consider myself "obese".

Nor I. 29.4 is not obese!

What sucks? My health insurance premiums are determined by my BMI...not body fat or blood numbers or how much I exercise or whatnot: Just the ratio of my weight to my height.

That does suck. Insurance companies are in the business of making money by assessing risk. Health care is ancillary. I was told a long time ago that that insurance companies only care about health/longevity from a statistical standpoint.

Certain factors do decrease risk. However, they can't put everyone on a treadmill, as that would get too expensive. I've heard that on occasion, life insurance companies will accept people who screen positive for a risk factor after they go through extensive medical workup to quantify their risk. (Those people might have been a false positive though.)

Edit: Also, I'd have to be 173 in order to reach 24.8 BMI which would be the top end of "normal". I'd be wretched at 173...

I've felt that way, too. However remarkably, this past month has been very interesting, as I haven't been as hungry all the time. I'm thinking that my body may have reached a new set point. Now, don't get me wrong. I do enjoy food and can put away more food than most (quality, well-prepared food, not a daily regimen of fast/junk food garbage). Though, I tend to limit the indulgences to only when dining out on weekends and special occasions. Perhaps, that somehow allows me to eat less throughout the week? Don't a lot of apex predators in the animal kingdom gorge themselves silly, then chill out for several days?

 

[scedastic]

Gotten them my whole life, and I'm not all that thin. The stinky part is that if you turn the tables as a comeback, boy do you get the mean looks.
Now that I'm getting old, though, and most of the people making the derisive comments are younger than I am and less fit, so whatev, I either take it as a compliment and stay quiet or snark it back and enjoy the mean looks.

 

[Woodsman]

There's a guy on the radio named Tom Leykis who says - in so many words - that friends and family are dream killers. If you're trying to go to school or work harder to further your career, they call you a workaholic. If you're trying to lose weight, it's "C'mon, one bite won't hurt; besides you exercise so much". It's schtick, but there is a degree of reality to it...

That sounds about right. I have been fairly fit most of my life but about 6 years ago I kind of took a year off. I porked up pretty good. Going from a physical job to desk job didn't help either. My mother was pretty much quick to tell me I got fat, but when I started making the necessary life style changes, suddenly I was overdoing it and had a eating disorder. We stopped talking for a month when I asked her to stop bringing giant cakes over everytime she came over. (Something she never did before I lost the weight).

It classic cognitive dissonance. People can't resolve their own bad choices so they come to believe there must be something wrong with us. I feel more pity then anger these days.


Its c

 

[clawhammer72]

Aaah! This whole time I'm thinking, this never happens to me. And then today, I realize I'm doing it myself. I'm the one who looks at the skinny people and says they can afford to eat that, blah blah blah. What a goober. Thanks for the heads up. I get it now.

 

[RunningPirate]

That sounds about right. I have been fairly fit most of my life but about 6 years ago I kind of took a year off. I porked up pretty good. Going from a physical job to desk job didn't help either. My mother was pretty much quick to tell me I got fat, but when I started making the necessary life style changes, suddenly I was overdoing it and had a eating disorder. We stopped talking for a month when I asked her to stop bringing giant cakes over everytime she came over. (Something she never did before I lost the weight).

It classic cognitive dissonance. People can't resolve their own bad choices so they come to believe there must be something wrong with us. I feel more pity then anger these days.


Its c

Woodsman - you wouldn't happen to be Italian, would you? Speaking from experience (I'm half on my mothers side) they tend to get torqued when you turn down food...

(BTW, I do realize that the food pushing comes from a lot of cultures )

 

[RunningPirate]

Aaah! This whole time I'm thinking, this never happens to me. And then today, I realize I'm doing it myself. I'm the one who looks at the skinny people and says they can afford to eat that, blah blah blah. What a goober. Thanks for the heads up. I get it now.

You....I always suspected as much

 

[scedastic]

And I am always AMAZED at how many heavy people are at the races and obstacle courses that I go to! Of course, my step-daughter is a Zumba instructor and you'd think with all the working out she does she would have lost weight. But she hasn't. She is still as over-weight as she has always been. That's because she eats like crap, tons of carbs and dairy. You really can't get it under control until you watch both what you eat and exercise regularly.

Yeah, it is weird. Even at the half marathon I went to, I was passed by plenty of fast, overweight runners. If you had seen them outside the race, you would swear they never exercise, let alone work that hard to run such a distance.

 

[RunningPirate]

I had a friend help me make this "before and after" photo of myself with like a 60 lb. weight difference. I showed it to my co-workers (most of whom are overweight) and they about died from shock because they too assumed I had always been thin-ish.

And I am always AMAZED at how many heavy people are at the races and obstacle courses that I go to! Of course, my step-daughter is a Zumba instructor and you'd think with all the working out she does she would have lost weight. But she hasn't. She is still as over-weight as she has always been. That's because she eats like crap, tons of carbs and dairy. You really can't get it under control until you watch both what you eat and exercise regularly.

By the by, well done you on losing 60 lbs (or 4.285 Stone for our friends in the UK)! Amazing how forgiving the body can be, no? All I needed to do was change what I was doing (being simultaneously simple, yet complicated). Interesting, there have been times where I actually feared that I might have "broken" my metabolism and would never lose the excess weight.

 

[OdiarAmor]

Myself, mom, and sister are all those heavy people doing well during the races. We aren't speed demons but are far from being last.

There are several cultures were eating all the time is the norm. I happen to belong to one of those cultures (my mother is Chilean). For me, my focus is now eating healthier which has been an issue with me staying home with my two boys and my Hubby loving to keep junk food in the house.

 

[clawhammer72]

I must belong to one of those cultures.

 

[Woodsman]

Woodsman - you wouldn't happen to be Italian, would you? Speaking from experience (I'm half on my mothers side) they tend to get torqued when you turn down food...

(BTW, I do realize that the food pushing comes from a lot of cultures )

Not Italian, just bitter. I'm not sure if it's pure sabotage in her case or she really thinks I'm starving to death. My MIL is Italian and you wouldn't believe how many times I say "no thank you" in the course of a visit. They still don't seem to get why I don't eat bread with every meal. I once tried to explain some more recent studies about diet and exercise. I'll never do that again.

 

[RunningPirate]

Not Italian, just bitter.

Those need not be mutually exclusive

I'm not sure if it's pure sabotage in her case or she really thinks I'm starving to death. My MIL is Italian and you wouldn't believe how many times I say "no thank you" in the course of a visit. They still don't seem to get why I don't eat bread with every meal. I once tried to explain some more recent studies about diet and exercise. I'll never do that again.

Joking aside, I think there are a couple of things that might be in play here. First, a lot of cultures show love through food (ironically, they're unable show it through attunement, which is better for all involved, but I digress). Second, in that same vein, food has strong emotional attachments so the pushers tend to respond poorly to logical arguments (I've fought that same battle, too). Again, there could be some validity to the sabotage suspicion - as stated earlier, people like to maintain their mental image of who someone is - for better or worse - so when you go against that, they will work to put you back to where they want you to be, despite the fact that you'd be worse off.

It's difficult, especially when what is being offered is so good, but not necessarily good for you, and does not come around every day. If there is something that I do not get all the time (say, my grandmothers spaghetti, back when she was still alive), I feel guilty and deprived if I don't eat all of it, because I don't know when I'll get it again.

 

[Sid]

First, a lot of cultures show love through food

Definitely. I also think that it was really only in recent history that pretty much every first world country has a secure food supply. I haven't been around long enough, but I know people who aren't that much older than me who remember times when people struggled to put food on the table. It's still a problem, but not as much as before.

Also, many cultures celebrate with food. When they welcome guests, they bring out food. I'm thinking it's because food is hard to gather without modern agriculture. To share food truly meant to welcome and accept someone by giving your guest something that you worked so hard to get.

 

[happysongbird]

I have never been more than 20 pounds over my "high school" weight, other than being pregnant, and am also of a body type that tends to look more slender. I had a friend in HS, who really was a nice girl, tell me she couldn't wait to see me fat one day!! That was my first taste of the tension that often exists between those who are heavier and those who aren't. wow.

I just decided early on that it was important to me to never get larger. Lately, I've been semi-irritated with all the biggest loser stuff. I think, "What about those of us who worked at keeping it off all these years. Could we get awards and publicity for being the biggest NON-gainers?!" I know, not likely to happen.

 

[RunningPirate]

"What about those of us who worked at keeping it off all these years. Could we get awards and publicity for being the biggest NON-gainers?!" I know, not likely to happen.

Now that's just crazy talk...we don't reward moderation around these parts, missy....

 

[dutchie53]

Wow, I really do not know about this thread or how to respond. I am in the same boat as Laura, I have been the same weight , well okay maybe 15 pounds heavier, as I was in high school. I do not think the weight is a issue, it is how you feel. If one feels good with who they are, are healthy and active, than BMI might not be as relative as one as led to believe. Some of the guys I play hockey with would put the BMI numbers of the chart, but they are great athletes.

 

[Sid]

"What about those of us who worked at keeping it off all these years. Could we get awards and publicity for being the biggest NON-gainers?!" I know, not likely to happen.

You get to outlive everyone! If that's not enough, when you're 80+, you can pull out some of these. An old wiry fella busted them out on me a while ago. Perhaps, I didn't look impressed enough when was telling me about his fitness regimen when he was younger. My eyes nearly popped out. Yeah, I was impressed!
Low Squat Hops

 

[RunningPirate]

You get to outlive everyone! If that's not enough, when you're 80+, you can pull out some of these. An old wiry fella busted them out on me a while ago. Perhaps, I didn't look impressed enough when was telling me about his fitness regimen when he was younger. My eyes nearly popped out. Yeah, I was impressed!
Low Squat Hops

Holy mother of pearl...that makes my ass hurt just looking at that....

 

[Sid]

I'm 5'10" and 205lbs (depending on the week, but you get the gist) - giving me a BMI of 29.4 - just a shade under obese.
...
Edit: Also, I'd have to be 173 in order to reach 24.8 BMI which would be the top end of "normal". I'd be wretched at 173...

You know, you didn't look 205lb in your old profile pic. What I saw was a guy in good shape really enjoying his meal. (Can't say anything about your current pic, since it's from the side.) But hey, pics are pics. It's really about how you feel about yourself.