My yearly nemesis

[skedaddle]

Wrapping Christmas presents!!!!!!
I sit there all prepared, "sticky tape....check" "wrapping paper....check" "ribbon.....check" And then the carnage begins.
In my head i can picture my handy work looking wonderfully festive, taking pride of place under the tree!
What I end up with is something that looks like the dog coughed up with a bow on it. Seriously, I get glitter where glitter should never be, i somehow manage to tape my beard to my lip and every single time I go to write out the greetings message the pen runs out half way through.

 

[NickW]

Sounds like we wrap presents about the same. My wife has actually banned me from wrapping presents because I am so terrible at it and I waste so much wrapping paper. She always laughs when she gets her Birthday, Christmas, or Anniversary presents because those I have to wrap myself! Funny, I am very good at a lot of things, but wrapping presents and writing in a readable manner seem to escape me.

 

[Larry]

I think the best bet is to go all the way and purposefully make them look bad.

My Mother In Law used to wrap presents for me by putting them in a white garbage bag with a red ribbon around it.

 

[PB Junkie]

go all the way and purposefully make them look bad.

This is probably the one area in my life where I am an absolute natural. I am a horrible present wrapper. But the wrapping covers the gift. Funny thing is, I've never had any complaints. I guess my good gift choosing trumps the wrapping looking like my dog did it.

 

[Barefoot TJ]

I have the same anxiety about wrapping gifts, so this year, I decided to have a little wrapping party, and I invited Mr. Vodka and Mrs. Orange Juice. It actually made the wrapping more fun, but it did nothing to improve my wrapping ability; in fact, they all look worse. Oh, well, just so I labeled everything correctly, I hope.

 

[Ronnie B]

When my eldest daughter was very young - my newphew bought her a whole kitchen set in miniature - stove, fridge, table, chairs - the whole shebang. Trouble is he showed up with this stuff on Christmas Eve, after I had just returned from a Christmas party, dropped it off - said "have fun putting it all together" and took off. Try putting all those little nuts and bolts together after mucho dark'nstormies!! It was almost dawn by the time I finished - and just managed to scramble to bed as she woke up to see what Santa bought her. Of course her first reaction is to wake dad up and show him what Santa brought her! So dad has to get up bleary eyed to see - and so the "orange juice" I was drinking was more like hair of the dog! Needless to say nephews son the very next year received the toy that made he most annoying raunchy noise I could find and the following year it was a drum set!

 

[SillyC]

Hahahah! This thread is hilarious.

Mr. SillyC was apparently traumatized by his perfectionist dad, who insisted that there was a method to wrapping presents. He got all perfectionist about the whole thing, and left Mr. SillyC with this mental block.

I, on the other hand, was raised by drunks. They would get plastered before wrapping presents, and sometimes the wrapping paper didn't cover the gift even. Did I care about the neatness of the paper? No way Jose! Because I was getting presents!

So my take on wrapping presents is just get the paper over it and call it good, while the Mr. is all anxious about it. For a while, I was the only one that wrapped presents, but I have since taught him what my parents taught me. Always, always, tie one on before wrapping gifts.

 

[PB Junkie]

That's where I went wrong! I was sober!

 

[OdiarAmor]

Hahahah! This thread is hilarious.

Mr. SillyC was apparently traumatized by his perfectionist dad, who insisted that there was a method to wrapping presents. He got all perfectionist about the whole thing, and left Mr. SillyC with this mental block.

I, on the other hand, was raised by drunks. They would get plastered before wrapping presents, and sometimes the wrapping paper didn't cover the gift even. Did I care about the neatness of the paper? No way Jose! Because I was getting presents!

So my take on wrapping presents is just get the paper over it and call it good, while the Mr. is all anxious about it. For a while, I was the only one that wrapped presents, but I have since taught him what my parents taught me. Always, always, tie one on before wrapping gifts.

My dad is a perfectionist but I've never cared. My idea of wrapping is to put it on a bag.

 

[RunningPirate]

THIS....is why they invented the gift bag, people! Use the technology that has been put before you! Whomever came up with the gift bag deserves a Nobel prize.

As for "some assembly required" my brother and I often marveled at the amount of cuss-words out of "Santa's" mouth in the middle of the night.

 

[Lomad]

Damn you Pirate! I entered just to say this. Gift bags are your friend, and infinitely more recyclable than wrapping paper.

For the record, I am a horrible wrapper and embraced that fact ages ago.

 

[RunningPirate]

Damn you Pirate! I entered just to say this. Gift bags are your friend, and infinitely more recyclable than wrapping paper.

For the record, I am a horrible wrapper and embraced that fact ages ago.

OK, that's twice that I said something you were about to say. Just goes to further the notion that we're actually the same person...

So you're a horrible wrapper; how good of a beat box are you? [rimshot]

 

[Hobbit]

What about using nicely patterned cloth for wrapping? Can be used again every year, you don't need scissors nor sticky tape, just a ribbon to close it (if you wish), or else just use the ends of the cloth for a bow. Lots of different possibilities to hide the gift inside, looks great under any circumstances! I think it's a japanese invention.

 

[skedaddle]

So this is a universal phenomena that can only be tamed by drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and all i need to do is remove the bottle of Jack Daniels from the brown paper bag it came in and stuff my presents in it!
Oh, and Santa is now on his final warning for cussing too much

What about using nicely patterned cloth for wrapping? Can be used again every year, you don't need scissors nor sticky tape, just a ribbon to close it (if you wish), or else just use the ends of the cloth for a bow. Lots of different possibilities to hide the gift inside, looks great under any circumstances! I think it's a japanese invention.

Hobbit you are a genius, next year everyone is having their gifts wrapped in colorful bandanas, so the wrapping becomes part of the gift!

 

[SillyC]

Damn you Pirate! I entered just to say this. Gift bags are your friend, and infinitely more recyclable than wrapping paper.

For the record, I am a horrible wrapper and embraced that fact ages ago.

Does the paper stay on the gift when it is picked up and handed to someone? If so, you are not a horrible wrapper. You are the best.

 

[theshortwhiteguy]

Aunt Bethany gives good wrapping tips.

Clark has a good tip too.

 

[ChasingShadows]

What I don't get is that as a kid I was really good at wrapping present, but I somehow lost the skill. Maybe I had more patience as a kid.

 

[Ronnie B]

That's where I went wrong! I was sober!

Exactamundo! The only difference today is that it is no longer dark'n'stormies but bottles of red Barefoot Wine for medicinal purposes only of course!

 

[Lomad]

OK, that's twice that I said something you were about to say. Just goes to further the notion that we're actually the same person...

So you're a horrible wrapper; how good of a beat box are you? [rimshot]

You get a wag of the finger for that one. That is, you would, if I hadn't ribboned that finger to a gift in the wrapping phase. it's amazong how hard ot can ne to type wiht your hand wrapped to a preesent.

 

[Lomad]

Does the paper stay on the gift when it is picked up and handed to someone? If so, you are not a horrible wrapper. You are the best.

fair enough. Of course, I have had to wait until the last minute to wrap, as my wrap jobs don't usually survive the bumps that a house full of kids gives under-tree presents. loosely, ill-wrapped gifts tear easily, I've learned.

i do like the cloth idea. takes the sustainability bit a step beyond the bags