My significant other is a shod runner.

Discussion in 'The Barefoot Pub' started by Barefoot Brown, May 26, 2011.

  1. Barefoot Brown

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    So... how do you cope with being a barefoot running fanatic, when your significant other is a shod runner? Hmm... I'm still trying to find that answer.

    After reading Born to Run, and then taking my shoes off for my first barefoot run, I've been hooked. I have been researching it, watching videos about it, and of course... following the BRS! Initially when I started talking about it, my girlfriend (Christine), was very interested. She reserved Born to Run at the library and everything, but then failed to go pick it up. It has been very frustrating for me. Thank goodness for this forum, otherwise I may blow up. She does listen on occasion, but she has not done the research like I have... plus.. she is a shod runner, who is in the middle of training for a half marathon. I'm sure she doesn't really care to listen to me all that intently at this point.

    She has made the usual comments : "I couldn't do it because my feet are way too sensitive." or "But what if I step on glass?", or has anyone got this one... "Those huarache sandals are hideous!"[​IMG] Christine is the type of person that if she saw barefoot running on Oprah, then she may give it a go, but since it is coming from me, and there are only like 3 people in Des Moines that run barefoot, she tends to not keep an open mind.

    For the most part, she is very open to me doing whatever I want to do, but sometimes I just wish she was on board. I'm just waiting for the day that she gets shin splints again. How bad is that?! :) She probably wouldn't even tell me.

    If there is anyone else out there dealing with something similar, whether with a significant other, or even another family member or friend, please share.
     
  2. sloutre

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    Give her some time. Wait

    Give her some time. Wait until after her half marathon. Congratulate her for accomplishing that much, then propose to go on a fun run barefoot. Don't push her to go barefoot 100% of the time, it would be like starting from scratch, and after training so hard for her half she may not want to give up what she thinks she earned. But suggest that a short barefoot run once in a while may help with her shod running. Then wait to see the smile on her face when she tries for the first time. She will be hooked.



    If she hasn't done the research to know that it's better for her don't try to convincer her, just let her experience how enjoyable it is.

    And please, don't buy her a pair a VFF. It may backfire: she may get injured by doing TMTS and blame it on you.



    Maybe you can arrange a run with Christine and Angie (http://www.barefootangiebee.com).



    You can also take a look at Vanessa's latest post on the subject(http://vanessaruns.com/2011/05/26/why-your-wife-hates-barefoot-running/).



    My husband first thought I was crazy. I mean, he knows I'm crazy and thought it was another manifestation of my crazyness. Then he saw how much I enjoyed it and how I went from running less than 4 min at a time (an complaining for 1 day about being sore) to running over 10 miles and being happy. Then he bought a pair of VFF and I suspect he may run a few miles barefoot when he's sure nobody can see him.

    If she's happy and healthy with her shoes and you're happy barefoot then don't insist. It's not worth a fight.
     

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  3. swoggis

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    Agree. Not worth the fight.

    Agree. Not worth the fight. Appreciate that you and your S.O. share a common athletic interest. If she's not giving you a hard time about BFR, that's goodness already. If she's willing to run with you (in shoes), wow, quality time together. The fact that you can't convince her to run BF herself? Now I think you're looking the gift horse in the mouth. :-D
     
  4. Barfuß Chelsea

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    Barefoot Brown wrote:I'm

    Awful! But oh so very funny!! :D And I'd be lying if I said I never kind of thought the same thing about my fiance... I don't know if I'll ever manage to get him on board. I'm pretty sure he understands the benifits of running more naturally, but to be seen without shoes in public?! How embarassing!!! :p

    Just give her time. At least she's a runner. You know how many people think that's crazy enough as it is, bf OR shod? As long as our partners let us do what we love, we should have at least enough repsect to grant them the same courtesy. Even if they are TOTALLY missing out... :)
     
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  5. C. Beth Run.

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    My husband is a shod

    My husband is a shod runner...and he never gets injured, so he's one of these guys who really can successfully run in heavily-cushioned trainers (and has done so since high school.)

    But you know what? His newest pair of shoes are minimalist! No, not as minimalist as Vibrams, but more minimalist than Frees. He got the Saucony A4s, and he is really enjoying them.

    I don't think he'll ever be a hard-core minimalist runner and certainly not a barefoot one. He really doesn't need to do that; his body handles shoes really well. But it's cool that after hearing me talk about this for quite a few months, he realized he might also enjoy having lighter feet. I didn't even have to do any hard-core convincing; he came to the conclusion mostly by himself. If I'd pressured him, it could have totally backfired on me.
     

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  6. Barefoot TJ

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    I got my hubby to start

    I got my hubby to start running with me some years ago. I even bought him the latest Asics crap, but that was before I became a barefoot runner myself. He complained so often that his knees hurt from running. I learned later that it wasn't his knees that were the problem but those damn Asics I bought him. Now, no matter how hard I try, I (the Prez of the BRS herself) can't even convince my own husband to try it barefoot or even in a pair of minimalist shoes, just to see that the pain will be gone if he does! I haven't given up yet though. I'm still looking for a pair of minimalist shoes that don't freak him out when he looks at them. Maybe the Merrells. Regardless, he owes me a 10-mile run, since I let him fly me on a mini vacation. I lived up to my side of the bargain; he should live up to his!
     
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  7. Paleo

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    Very funny thread.Here's my

    Very funny thread.

    Here's my (our) story: At first, my wife just thought my BFR was a bit odd, but, as she would say, "typical." At some point she said, "You always find a way to do a perfectly normal thing in a way totally different from others." (Full disclosure: I type with the Dvorak keyboard, and that's just one example.)

    Then, she started calling me Paleo after I had told her what knew about our paleolithic ascestors running barefoot.

    At some point, she said, "Well, I am sure that you are right. Barefoot running is more natural, and probably more healthy. But, I am still not going to do it, because I don't want to cut myself."

    Then one day we went for a hike/walk. The first part was on a rough trail, then it turned to asphalt. She decided to give barefoot walking a try. After a few hundred meters, she mentioned that her knee had stopped hurting. We came again to a rough patch, and the put her shoes back on. The knee pain came back after about 300 meters.

    Since then, she has taken to barefoot walking, and is really liking it. Tonight, she had her first run in with a glass splinter--so tiny that you wonder how you could even feel it. She got it out just fine, so I think the glass worries are over.



    For those of you trying to convince your loved-ones to run barefoot, keep in mind that there is a funny psychological effect that occurs whenever you tell someone they should do something. The inner child almost automatically hears the parent speaking, causing it to react with a spiteful rejection of the recommendation. The person will give you polite responses "Oh, sure, I'll give it a try sometime." But, the inner child rebels at being told what to do.

    I just do my own thing and tell people about the good time I am having. Eventually, they might get curious. If they ask me for information, I give it--often in big doses. But, I try not to lecture without being asked.

    Cheers

    Paleo
     
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  8. stomper

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    Fortunately it was shortly

    Fortunately it was shortly before I got into BF running that I decided I was never ever again going to try to "convert" my SO to anything. I think that is a pretty good policy for anybody you have to live with. By far the most persuasive thing I have done re: BF running was to shut up about it!

    One reason I post so much on this forum is so that I get those impulses out, and DON'T get pushy anywhere else.

    The fact that my SO has seen it working for me has been far more persuasive than anything I could say. She ended up trying it and got up to about 2 miles before switching to VFFs. Which is a pretty huge change for her. And I lived to fight another day. :)
     
  9. Barefoot Brown

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    "I just do my own thing and

    "I just do my own thing and tell people about the good time I am having. Eventually, they might get curious. If they ask me for information, I give it--often in big doses. But, I try not to lecture without being asked."

    --very nice Paleo. That is some really good advice. I know that when people try to tell me to do something, the inner child definitely comes out, and I would rather NOT do it. If we let our actions speak louder than our words, and they see how much fun we are having, it's possible they may give it a go themselves.

    "One reason I post so much on this forum is so that I get those impulses out, and DON'T get pushy anywhere else."

    --and that's the reason I have been so active on this forum. I love talking with people about this new love interest of mine, without drowning my SO.

    "And I lived to fight another day. [​IMG]"

    --very funny Stomper!

    "Maybe the Merrells."

    --Although Christine did go on a run with me while I was barefoot, I'm pretty sure she would much rather I wear my Merrell Trail Gloves. Soooooo much better to just run barefoot. Minimalist shoes are still shoes, and there will never, EVER be a shoe that will give the sensations the bare foot does....PERIOD

    "but to be seen without shoes in public?! How embarassing!!! [​IMG]"

    --Hahahaha. Pretty sure Christine feels the same way... even though she may not admit it.

    "Now I think you're looking the gift horse in the mouth. [​IMG]"

    --True true swog. Your probably right. :bigsmile:

    "Maybe you can arrange a run with Christine and Angie"

    --Thanks sloutre. That could be a possibility. I wouldn't mind hooking up with Angie for a run sometime as well... although I have made a couple posts to her, but have not heard back. Pretty sure she is a busy girl. And thanks for the article!
     
  10. Joseph

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    I am just happy as can be

    I am just happy as can be that my wife runs at all! She seems to enjoy the same mental/mood/physical benefits that I so enjoy and even though we rarely run together, we both feel like it is something we share. I told her to give BF a try shortly after I started and got a lot of the same responses as others. In the past, her knees had been hurting her, but at the time I started transitioning they were fine. I just told her, as I tell pretty much any runner that I am talking to about running BF, if you can run in shoes without injury or pain...good for you! As for me, running in shoes led to knee pain and shin-splints so bad that I sometimes had difficulty walking the day after a run, or walking normally anyway...

    After watching me for about the past six months or so, and seeing my distance increase (I am now at a 7 mile "long" run), and then to see that I do not have the issues that I had before, she is way more open to it. In fact, her knees started acting up again a couple of weeks ago and I gently mentioned that she could try BF for the first 1/2 mile of her run, she said "OK." She ran with her socks on, which is about as BF as I will get her to go, but she does that now for the first 1/2 mile of every run. Maybe she will increase her mileage, maybe not.

    The point for us is to have a healthy and active lifestyle. Running is one of the best ways that we have been able to achieve that and it really does not matter to me if she is shod or unshod, as long as it works and she is healthy.

    I am starting a "training" with my boys tomorrow (both 12) and they will be required to run part of the run barefoot. The other stuff we are going to be doing will also be barefoot. I am curious to see how quickly they adapt...
     
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  11. barefootmarc

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    My wife is a great supporter

    My wife is a great supporter of my BR. She helped me and ran/walked the course at our IBRD. Looking forward to BR more together as we have more time.
     

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  12. Jeepmonkey

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    Barefoot Brown



    Too bad that couldn't have been part of her "final show". The shoe companies would be bankrupt for sure! My wife is the same way....Oprah is the Pied Piper of the new millenium!
     
  13. Jonny00GT

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    No one likes to be told or

    No one likes to be told or sold, but if something fun and free is going down, we all want to be in on it! I've always presented my experiences as just that...MY experiences. I'm not telling them they can solve thier running woes or eliminate joint pain...just that I read you can, tried it, it worked on me and then some! You gotta have the right bait, my friend! You're not trying to change her, you're trying to get her to try it. Clips or training methods that make her shod running better or easier, is a good place to start. Let her come around on her own. You do your thing, let her do hers and run together when you can.

    After seeing my transformation and going from hate running to loving it just in VFFs, my wife bought some Bikila LS...after a week, she bought some for yoga! Since then, we run together when ever we can. She did think I was off my nut when I went full bare after spending $200 on a couple pair of VFFs(relegated to gym shoes, trails and maybe cold weather running.) I'd always said I'd never go bare and only "tried" it to improve my form. Got hooked! You know! Last week, she said she'd give BFR a try to see if it would help her form. Whatever happens, I'm just glad we run together now! We chat, catch up, laugh and joke on our long runs 4 miles +! I've hated running my whole life...just blows my mind, it's my favorite now and the longer we go, the better! Time just flies when you're BSing with a friend while you run!

    I'm so looking forward to a +/- 2 1/2hr, 13.1 mile run full of chatting/laughing with my best friend, come December and all the runs we're doing in between!

    -Jonny
     
  14. SaraLord

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    The best thing you can do is

    The best thing you can do is offer yourself as a good example and say nothing unless asked. - even then keep it low key. Imagine that you are a practicing - insert religion here - and your SO discovers a new better religion (which it might actually be better, but your religion works for you). How excited would you be if she decided you should join the new improved movement? Likely you would dig in your heels.
     

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  15. dunetraveller

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    I like the Oprah thing. If my

    I like the Oprah thing. If my wife heard rave reviews about it on NPR, she'd think it was swell... but from me it is automatically suspect, LOL. She doesn't run, but she's a dancer, so I leave it at that. I wish I could say that if she saw great results from my doing it would bring a change in her mind, but from past experience, my doing well gets me congratulations, but that's about it.

    Now... If I could convince ALL of her friends to do it... now were talkin'!

    John T.



    Still.... any injury suffered from a traditional, or rather neo-traditional, method like running in shoes is normal and okay and not really anything wrong, but stub your toe barefoot and... well, we know the responses.
     

  16. Barefoot Dama

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    Where in Iowa are you BB? I

    Where in Iowa are you BB? I live in Iowa City and I'll be more than happy to take your wife out for a BF run.
     

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  17. AABarefoot

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    i have a few extra copies of

    i have a few extra copies of Born to Run laying around... want me to send your wife one? because i will, totally worth it.

    i didnt force the running on my SO, but i did force "Born to Run" on her. once she read that she was sort of hooked. she doesnt want to go all the way barefoot, no matter how much i try. She runs in her VFFs, and loves it. she used to get NASTY shin splints, doesnt get them anymore. so as much as she gets and agrees with the BFR philosophy she doesnt want to "wreck" her pedicured feet.

    i really do think the best way to convert someone is give them a copy of "born to run." im willing to donate one to the BRS community that people can mail around to all the non-believers, one after another we will convert them :) let me know, i really will mail your wife a copy! hahaha

    Good luck!
     
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  18. stomper

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    It's really an interesting

    It's really an interesting question, how to persuade someone to do something, since people are naturally garrulous and especially suspicious of anything that stinks of being a "movement." Nonetheless, some people will respond to argument. I especially like the tack of asking people questions so that [whatever you are pushing] becomes their answer to your query.

    But it becomes cosmically more complicated when you're talking about the person you live with and sleep with. And I'm not just talking about sleep! The last person anyone wants to "sleep" with is a know it all or a nag. Even if they are right!

    Far safer (and sexier, in an aloof, independent way) to just do whatever you want and SHUT UP ABOUT it.

    Just my 2 cents here, but most people don't get enough "sleep" as it is. Wouldn't want to make the situation out there even worse. :)
     
  19. HobbitFeet

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    My wife also thinks I'm a bit

    My wife also thinks I'm a bit nuts, and after seeing the blisters from my first run she was convinced that I was nuts. But just the other day, now that I'm about a month or so into it, she was looking at my feet and said she was jealous of how soft and smooth they are! HAH! So now she is thinking about giving it a shot, not for the health benefits, not to cure that nagging plantar fasciitis, and not to develop better form, but strictly so she can have smooth soft feet!
     

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