"Dear Santa, I was harrassed by an Elf!! It just doesn't seem right!"

Jonny00GT

Chapter Presidents
May 19, 2011
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"Dear Santa,

It pains me to do this, but I'm affraid, one of your Elves has crossed the line into the "naughty zone"! I didn't get her name, but I'm sure you know who she is. I don't know why she chose to pick on me, but something about my bare feet while running the "Dallas Jingle Bell 5K" race really upset her. I was very polite when she gruffly accused,"I hope you practiced before doing this!" eyeing my feet. I guess she was distracted by the Chirstmas lights wrapped around me and didn't notice the barefoot 13.1 tattoo on the back of my calf or the huge "13.1" on the chest of my long sleeve "White Rock Half-Marathon" shirt. I just smiled and politely asked with a smile, "Yes, Ma'am...did you see the shirt?". Not the answer she was expecting, she yelled back,"Well, you're keeping the Orthopedic Surgeons in business!" Maybe she just needs a Santa hug to get her back in the Christmas spirit, but if you gotta use a switch...I'm ok with that too! ;o)

Also, your Cemitar Elf who was running the race yelled for me to put some shoes on rather rudely, though...now that I think about it...he could have been half an Ass instead of horse, so that's probably par for the course.

Thanks for listening! See you on the 25th!

Love,

-Nice Jonny "



This was actually a really fun race! It was my first experience with the heart rate driven training, and it was brutal to run that slow, but I look at it as, I got to run for 41 min in my fat burning zones, instead of less than 30 burning sugar. It was also my wife's bestie's first 5K. (Jimmy, if you're reading this, she's going to be calling you for some coaching! She was the one at the clinic with the really old shoes you hated!)
 
Nice Jonny, what a fun read!

Nice Jonny, what a fun read! So I feel you on how hard it is to run slow. I was running with Mike yesterday and found trying to stay under 146 bpm is really painful on my legs. They really felt like they were burning like I was pushing super hard. I had to do some sprints to get them right again. This is way below conversational pace for me...
 
Nick I understand and I'll

Nick I understand and I'll put some explaination to it. Muscles adapt and strengthen at the ranges they are pushed in. For example when you're doing bicep curls with light weights and get used to them you go up in weight and you get sore again. If you continually go up in weight the muscle tends to stay strong at the lower weights, however, if you go to lower weights and increase the rep range you will get sore from it. Why? Because the muscles aren't trained in that range of reps.

The heart is the same way with an exception. You don't feel the stress at the lower heart rate ranges and say it's "well below conversational pace for you" which is all fair and true but that doesn't mean you are energy efficient at that range. This is demonstrated by how hard it was on your muscles. If you continue to run in the lower heart rate ranges your muscles will adapt and so will your heart which will make you more energy efficient. As that happens you will start to run faster at that heart rate range and you will be burning energy more efficiently so you wont wear out. Train your heart consistently through it's ranges and you'll be able to run just about any pace any time while still being efficient with your energy.
 
Yeah, Nick...it must use

Yeah, Nick...it must use different muscles or the usual muscles in a different way cause it makes me sore in places I'm not usually sore when I run a comfortable-race pace for me! The first time I tried the Maffetone method a few months back, it was a one off. I ran 3.3 miles in something like 56min and my wife walked next to me for much of it. I think I estimated my rate wrong and ended up trying to stay under 138. I was really sore the next day, which is strange when I'd been running over 6miles at a time prior to that!

Oh well...I'm giving it a real shot this time! Well...they way Jimmy worte it out for me, that is. I actually run more in my zone 3(145-165) which is still painfully slow right now. I actually get to see some zone 4 in a few weeks!(165-185) Is it weird to be excited about that??? It is, right?



-Jonny
 
Oh the comebacks I would have

Oh the comebacks I would have had for those two.
 
Congrats on handling

Congrats on handling stupidity without resorting to violence, thats a tough one for me...
 
what chaser? people handle

what chaser? people handle you violently for how stupid you are? i'd never go out then.
tongue.png
 
Mike, it was just that one

Mike, it was just that one time, and I did kind of deserve it... I mean, how was I supposed to know I wasnt supposed to use a flashlight that time in the Watergate hotel? It was dark for golly-gosh-darn sake (hee from me, TJ), and I couldnt see if I was grabbing the correct files or not! Geez.... Cut a fella some slick, will ya!
 
Darn elves must be all those

Darn elves must be all those hard working days in those pointy shoes. :santa:
 
Explanation, please?

Explanation, please?
 
Tis the season for crabby

Tis the season for crabby people who do not like any aspect of their worldviews challenged.

My holiday message: those elves need to mellow the ______ out and mind their own stinkin' feet, if they can find them under all that shoe.
 
PLUS MEGA ONE!

PLUS MEGA ONE!
 
Just yell back to her,

Just yell back to her, "You're fired!"
 
Jonny00GT wrote:I was very

Jonny00GT said:
I was very polite when she gruffly accused,"I hope you practiced before doing this!" eyeing my feet. I guess she was distracted by the Chirstmas lights wrapped around me and didn't notice the barefoot 13.1 tattoo on the back of my calf or the huge "13.1" on the chest of my long sleeve "White Rock Half-Marathon" shirt. I just smiled and politely asked with a smile, "Yes, Ma'am...did you see the shirt?". Not the answer she was expecting, she yelled back,"Well, you're keeping the Orthopedic Surgeons in business!"

Wow I am terrible at come backs and I can't believe people are so rude. Maybe I can understand being 'concerned' that you practiced first, but the orthopedic comment just shows how un educated they really are. Was this elf a bystander or an actual volunteer?
 

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