Barefoot Spouse Support Group

[Jeepmonkey]

So, what do us barefoot/minimalist folks do when our spouses don't agree on our choice of footwear for the planned activity? We're going to the zoo tonight for a Halloween party and I wanted to wear my Zems, but the wife said "no way!". I wanted to tell her that she was lucky I was wearing shoes at all, but I opted out and just decided to wear my Sanuks instead.



Anyone else have these types of problems? And for the record....I was a little bit surprised to see so many women on this board.

 

[Barefoot TJ]

I know, it's crazy huh?  When

I know, it's crazy huh? When I first started the Runner's World BFR Forum, I was the only "girl" for like the first 1/2 year. Then slowly, luckily, more of us started showing up.

Let me get this straight... Your wife didn't want you wearing ZEMs as part of your Halloween costume? It's a Halloween costume for cripes sake!

Once you've done this a while, our spouses start to lighten up about it, especially when they realize we are saving hundreds of dollars a year.

 

[peacekaren]

It just so happened that my

It just so happened that my husband was sitting next to me when I opened this thread. I told him, look, there's a thread on the board just for you! After reading your post he proceeded to tell me that he agreed that the zoo is not a good place to go barefoot/minimal. You know, all the people there with strollers and wagons and such. They might run over your foot. :~ I asked him if he's ever been at the zoo and had someone roll over his foot while he was wearing shoes. LOL.



My husband still doesn't really "get" the whole barefoot thing, and he's still quick to point out all the "dangers" of barefooting, but he is at least accepting of (resigned to) the fact that I am determined to wear shoes as little as possible. As he pointed out to me after reading this thread, as long as I don't push him to go barefoot, he won't push me to wear shoes. It's a plan that's been working for us for over a year now.



Hope you and your wife can come to some understanding that works for both of you. Best wishes.



Peace,

Karen

 

[Longboard]

Karen, has DH read Dr.

Karen, has DH read Dr. Howell's book yet?

It makes the most convincing case yet that BF is almost always best, in a straight-forward

scientific manner.

 

[pbarker]

Monkey.I know how

Monkey.

I know how frustrating it is. What I did was leave Born to Run out on the coffet table. One day my wife picked it up and read it. Now she is a lot more supportive. Maybe I will get a copy of Dr Howell's book and leave it around.

 

[Danjo]

Karen, I get that kind of

Karen, I get that kind of thing and "What if someone steps on your foot?" and I always just say "How often do people step on your feet? Why would they step on mine more?"

Fortunately I'm only 16 and I don't have any kind of significant other, so I don't have to deal with this. Though I'm sure my barefooting will come up as an issue when that time comes around.

 

[ajb422]

I could understand your wife

I could understand your wife being unhappy with you wanting to go bf at the zoo or anywhere in a public place where you could be hassled, kicked out ect... It could add stress to what was supposed to be a fun day. But since you were wearing zems I don't really get the issue. I mean, would you tell her what shoes she was allowed to wear somewhere? While it certainly depends on the type of relationship you have I think if my husband told me what shoes I could wear out I'd laugh at him tell him that I get to pick out his shoes then. And trust me they wouldn't be his comfortable ones. Pick out your wife's favorite high heels and tell her you want her to wear those to the zoo.

Or maybe the less... shall we say "jokingly combative" solution might be to buy a pair of min. shoes that don't really look like they are. Honestly I think the new balance ones that people posted pictures of look nearly identical to an old pair of new balance standard running shoes I have. (oddly enough I retired them because they had so many miles, and now they are back to being one of my favorites) If you find a pair that looks like a normal shoe then no one including her will know you are actually not wearing a standard running shoe. Probably easier that way.

 

[jschwab]

Ha, hubby flied hi freak flag

Ha, hubby flied hi freak flag way higher than mine, and I wear Zems to work in my professional office! Don't wives always have veto rights (ad the hubbies have the right to suffer the consequences). Just kidding!

 

[Last Place Jason]

I used to have a spouse that

I used to have a spouse that was embarrassed by my barefootedness...

 

[Barefoot Mary]

My husband is reading this

My husband is reading this thead with me and his first impression of the zoo was, "Stepping in poop! Barefoot! AGH!"

Really...the poop should be in the cages but his argument is the monkey's throwing possabilities. My husband has poop-phobia

He used to get nervous when I started and got blood blisters, nervous for my health and the fact I kept running even though I kept getting hurt. Now that I don't get blisters anymore, the trepidition has come down to going barefoot in public: grocery stores, down the street, etc. where I'm seen.

I think many spouses get more scared to look like he/she married a barefoot freak than anything. Acceptance came for us when he figured I was gonna do it anyway (in long pants, so no one notices) and it became a charming part of what I do.

 

[Jeepmonkey]

Well, I wore my Sanuks and

Well, I wore my Sanuks and they're pretty minimal.....to date they're about the most comfortable shoes I've owned. I'm not totally sold on the idea of going totally barefoot out in public much (except for running). I too have a poop-phobia, but mine is way worse probably. In fact, I'm still pretty skeezed out thinking about you guys that go barefoot in Wal-Mart. I feel like I need a hazmat suit when I'm in ours, so I'm sure I couldn't bring myself to ever venture in barefoot there.



However, the wife and I went to breakfast this morning, and I snuck out of the house wearing the Zems. She didn't notice until we were waiting for our table and then she said, "ohh....you wore THE shoes". She's more concerned with people staring at me like I'm some sort of weirdo. My argument is, there are plenty of other people way more weird than I that will still be getting stared at before people notice my shoes.

 

[saypay45]

Jeep, as peacekaren pointed

Jeep, as peacekaren pointed out in a previous post, it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission when it comes to spouses that aren't supporters of your hobby. Just wear the Zems next time, and don't tell your spouse or ask.

My wife used to complain about my barefooting all the time. I also used to talk about it all the time. Now I just shut up about it, and I don't respond to my wife when she tries to bring it up...which happens very rarely. She doesn't protest I think because she knows it won't do any good. And since I don't bring up the subject, it's not always on her mind.

I'm pretty against trying to convert the spouse. They will come around if they want to, when they want to. And the best method for it is to just have enthusiasum for the sport, give your spouse open access to information on the subject, and let it happen naturally.

 

[SillyC]

I met my husband in the attic

I met my husband in the attic of a commune. I like to think I'm living up to his expectations.

 

[bfr_dave]

Ahhhh, married life. Telling

Ahhhh, married life. Telling you what shoes to wear. :cry:

I'll pass on that!! :tongue:

 

[Jeepmonkey]

How many of you have spouses

How many of you have spouses or significant others that are on board with the BF lifestyle? I would like my wife to get to a point where we could run together, but she's just not into running at all and it would take her a long time to catch up with me I think. Don't get me wrong, I'd gladly slow down and wait for her if I thought she would really enjoy it.

 

[Last Place Jason]

Jeepmonkey wrote:How many of

How many of you have spouses or significant others that are on board with the BF lifestyle? I would like my wife to get to a point where we could run together, but she's just not into running at all and it would take her a long time to catch up with me I think. Don't get me wrong, I'd gladly slow down and wait for her if I thought she would really enjoy it.

My wife was always supportive of the BFR thing, but really took an interest after an injury and reading Born to Run. Now that we've stopped procreating, she has the time to start to develop both speed and endurance. At the rate she's going, she will surpass my 5k PR by next year. She's more obsessed with running than I am, which is really cool.

She's always been into running and fitness to some degree, but it was meeting the cool cats at ultras that really got her on-board.

 

[Barefoot TJ]

My hubby is very supportive

My hubby is very supportive of my BFRing. He doesn't care to run himself, but I just don't think he's caught the bug yet. He doesn't like our kids running around outside barefoot or in the garage, where he has a lot of man debris, but I let them do so, and they prefer running around barefoot. Whenever one of his friends says something that sounds a bit negative, he corrects them with the "how much more healthy it is for your feet" thing.

Stopped procreating, Jason?

 

[Barefoot Mary]

My husband has been

My husband has been supportive from the start. When I first got the bug he would listen (or pretend to listen!) to my babbling.

I've always been into running and he's always been fond of the couch, but he started barefoot running with me to rid his feet of pesky shoe-induced callus in addition to changing his shoe collection to minimal only...so I guess he was listening?

Now that his feet are clearing up I think it's unlikely that he'll keep barefooting with me. He's not much of a runner, more into karate and beating things up. Lol. But I can see him going minimal when he does run. Either way, we are eager to dispose of our motion-control shoes and turn to a flats-only household. I feel lucky to have a convert in arms

 

[Barefoot Larry]

Danjo wrote:Karen, I get

Karen, I get that kind of thing and "What if someone steps on your foot?" and I always just say "How often do people step on your feet? Why would they step on mine more?"

Someone actually did step on my foot. It was after the race when they were anouncing the results. The dude was wearing shoes. I he was barefoot, it would not have hurt because he would have had instant feedback and picked up his foot quickly. Since the dude was shod, the full weight of his body was on my foot. OUCH

 

[Longboard]

Last Place Jason wrote:  Now

Now that we've stopped procreating.......... it was meeting the cool cat.... that really got her on-board.

WHOA!!!!

I'm done procreating too! You MUST be mistaken!