Is your spouse embarrassed by your barefoot running in public?

clawhammer72 · Sep 5, 2012

I'm a teacher and my wife is embarrassed by my running barefoot to school in the morning and back home in the afternoon.
She begs me to buy vffs. She is mortified whenever I tell her I saw someone on the way to school or on the way home.
Tonight she posted on her Mom Board Forum a poll asking whether the other moms thought A) She Should Just Get over it, or B) They're glad I'm not their husband.
So far, I'm winning 70% to 30%.

Anyone else have a similar situation on the home front?
Personally, I am happy to run in shoes, currently Merrel Trail Gloves, when it makes sense...like this afternoon when it was 90 degrees. However, I can't get myself to give in to the shoe argument just to make her happy, especially since I am pretty sure no else really give a sh*t what I'm wearing when I'm running. Thoughts?

Barefooting Bob · Sep 5, 2012

I guess I was lucky, my wife was the one who started me on this journey of enlightenment.

I don't she imagined that I would be taking it this far though. I think the thought was I would do some 5km races, and particiapate in the local chapter of the Hash House Harriers weekly runs (I do so love my beer).

RunningPirate · Sep 5, 2012

See, what's funny is that I hear that a lot of women are more embarrassed by the VFF's (they don't like how they look). I figure I look like hell anyway while I'm running so my feet aren't going to matter one way or the other...

Barefoot HannahC · Sep 5, 2012

My husband is completely supportive, but nothing much bothers him. His answer to nearly everything is "You do what you do." He is a good influence on me.
Now he even ran a couple races, walks the dogs barefoot, works out barefoot, and plays basketball in his Altras.

Last Place Jason · Sep 5, 2012

My wife was also embarrassed by my barefoot running. The replacement was much more supportive.

On a slightly more serious note, I've written about this before as it comes up in the forums on a fairly regular basis. As I mentioned in the post, I think the unsupportive spouse is a symptom of greater issues. Why does your spouse give a damn about other people's perceptions of you? Even if you're a teacher (I was a barefoot running high school teacher for years before becoming a nomadic running hobo), why is the social approval of others more important to her than your interests or even well-being? After all, I've been told this barefoot running thing has positive benefits.

If you'd averse to ending the relationship as most people are, I'd suggest taking up another more socially-repugnant hobby. Here's a start- but you may have to take some of these to an epic level. By comparison, barefoot running won't seem nearly as bad. You can bargain with your wife to keep the new hobby under wraps. She'll be so worried about that one the barefoot running will seem like small potatoes.

scedastic · Sep 5, 2012

I converted mine to the dark side (barefoot darkside, that is).
Either way, though, I like to think we're an eccentric family anyhow, so running barefoot would only be among the options for what might be getting me negative attention.
I'm with Jason on this one; why on EARTH does she care what other people think of something that innocuous?
It's not like you're streaking through the neighborhood (are you?), or wearing clown suits while dancing in front of school, or committing crimes(I assume).
Heck, in this economy, are you employed(as a teacher, I'm guessing)? If not, are you working towards getting employment? Do you take out the trash, divide chores around the house; are you good company to your wife? Or, say, do you spend your entire day belching in front of the tv when her friends come over(assuming she's not into that)?
Seriously, though. There are far worse things than above that you could be doing as a spouse. She should count her blessings and get over it.

Last Place Jason · Sep 5, 2012

A good propaganda campaign to convert her may be a better first step than divorce. Good recommendation, scedastic.

Bare Lee · Sep 5, 2012

My wife (that's her in my new avatar) is from a place where only poor people and villagers go barefoot, so it's been a bit of a chore convincing her that barefooting of any kind outside of the house has merit. Still, she is always barefoot inside, and normally goes out in thin leather sandals when she's not decked out in her heels. Still-furthermore, she likes the fact that my running has got me back down close to weighing the same as I did when we first met, and she enjoys my other eccentric behaviors, and she asked for a matching hemp anklet, so it's all good.

JosephTree · Sep 5, 2012

Just tell her you love her. Often and publicly. Then run away. Barefoot.

She clearly doesn't have nearly enough to worry about where you're concerned, and should count her blessings, as was said already.

Barefoot Gentile · Sep 5, 2012

You know the cliche saying time heals everything. It can be applied to barefoot running, the more time you do it the more people start to adapt. When I first started my wife thought it was ridiculous, crazy, dangerous, and maybe some embarrassment, but 3 years later its completely normal. I remember I would worry about what the neighbors thought of me running barefoot, people in cars passing me by, etc. but again as time went on the more comfortable I felt and the more confident.

clawhammer72 · Sep 5, 2012

Barefoot Gentile has got the best answer yet. When I started surfing, she worried about that, too for the first year. Now it's normal. Time will tell.

Hawkbilly · Sep 5, 2012

My wife worries about me hurting myself, but she doesn't care in the least what anyone else thinks about it.

Pon · Sep 5, 2012

Twisty · Sep 5, 2012

My wife didn't mind me running barefoot, it was the walking everywhere barefoot. When I go to the shops, pub, party's and especially weddings, suited and barefooted. But she's coming round to it slowly

clawhammer72 · Sep 5, 2012

Twisty, you are hardcore.

Lomad · Sep 5, 2012

Believe me when I say that running barefoot is waaaayyy down low on the list of things I do in public that my wife is embarrassed by. Most involve my big fat mouth.

In all seriousness, my wife is a good sport about it and like Lee she likes that my successful return to running has returned me to a slimmer more at peace version of myself.

clawhammer72 · Sep 5, 2012

Last Place Jason said:
My wife was also embarrassed by my barefoot running. The replacement was much more supportive.

On a slightly more serious note, I've written about this before as it comes up in the forums on a fairly regular basis. As I mentioned in the post, I think the unsupportive spouse is a symptom of greater issues. Why does your spouse give a damn about other people's perceptions of you? Even if you're a teacher (I was a barefoot running high school teacher for years before becoming a nomadic running hobo), why is the social approval of others more important to her than your interests or even well-being? After all, I've been told this barefoot running thing has positive benefits.

If you'd averse to ending the relationship as most people are, I'd suggest taking up another more socially-repugnant hobby. Here's a start- but you may have to take some of these to an epic level. By comparison, barefoot running won't seem nearly as bad. You can bargain with your wife to keep the new hobby under wraps. She'll be so worried about that one the barefoot running will seem like small potatoes.

I already have plenty of other embarrassing hobbies, not least of which is trash picking. I prefer the term treasure hunting.

It's not that she doesn't want to be supportive. She is just coming from a different place than me. I have spent my life being the odd one. And she grew up in the midwest with a mother who thought and still thinks all Californians are crazy. She's right. We are.

And while I find a lot of joy in meeting other odd weird strange independent thinkers, I also have found meeting the "other", those who share very different opinions than myself, a truly profound and wonderful journey. (Ok. I can't stand the strictly conventional, all-I-care-about-is-my-damn-lawn-being-green-and-perfect, totally unbearable as well. But, my wife isn't like that. She's a thinker, but just comes from a different point of view much of the time.) Sticking with the likeminded is only one of many trails worth running.

Sid · Sep 5, 2012

I have the opposite problem. I'm a fairly private person, and my wife just can't resist.

Other people: "You working out?"
Me: "I do some running."
Wife: "He runs barefoot!"

Oh well. Just do what you enjoy!

RunningPirate · Sep 5, 2012

Well, if SO's are truly embarrassed by BFR, then you could always augment your running by flapping your arms like a bird and making farting noises with your mouth. Suddenly, the barefoot thing will drop straight to the bottom of the list of concerns. Drop. Like a friggin rock.

RunningPirate · Sep 5, 2012

Twisty said:
My wife didn't mind me running barefoot, it was the walking everywhere barefoot. When I go to the shops, pub, party's and especially weddings, suited and barefooted. But she's coming round to it slowly

See, now when I read that, I automatically thought of Hank Azaria in The Birdcage...

Is your spouse embarrassed by your barefoot running in public?

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