A man is dining in a fancy restaurant...

Barefoot TJ

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Mar 5, 2010
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A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.



'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.



'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.



They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.



After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.



The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SOOOOO incredible!




'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'



'No,' she replies. . .


















Wait for it...





















































It's coming...



































































The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

















































She says: 'You just happened to catch my eye.'





 
Ha, I 'saw' that one coming..

Ha, I 'saw' that one coming..;-)
 
Ha ha ha ha!  Eye puns!

Ha ha ha ha! Eye puns!
 
A guy walks past a mental

A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "... 13 ... 13 ... 13 ..."



The man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned "... 14 ... 14 ... 14 ..."
 
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
 
A termite walks into a bar

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Where's the Bartender?"
 
He doesn't want wood?  I

He doesn't want wood? I guess he's thirsty then.
 
You could read it

You could read it as...Where's the bar tender?
 
Oh, ha ha ha!

Oh, ha ha ha!
 
An able-bodied seaman meets a

An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook and eye patch, the seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with a peg-leg?”



The pirate replies "We was caught in a monster storm off the Cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they was pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg plum off!"



"Blimey! said the seaman. “What about the hook?"



"Aaahh ...,” mused the pirate. “We was boardin' a trader ship, pistols a'blastin' and swords a'swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off."



"Zounds!” remarked the seaman. “And how came ye by the eye patch?''



"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye", answered the pirate.



"Ye lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.



"Well... explained the pirate, ..... it was me first day with the hook"
 
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!