NRR, Funny things kids say

barefoot.zumba.runner

barefoot.zumba.runner

Barefooters
Apr 3, 2010
1,323
3
36
#1
Inspired by Karen's thread about her daughter's running shoe (or lack there of) dilema :)

Olivia, 7yrs old, very matter of fact stated "Mom, Tutti's meat and she doesn't even know it" Tutti is our cat

Nyla, 3yrs old, while going up one of those fun hills that if you hit it at the right speed gives you butterflies "Mom, that gives me butterflies in my butt"

Max, 5yrs, discussion on 'strangers' "if I had a bubble machine, I'd blow the strangers up in the sky and shoot a bubble on them, shoot an arrow at the bubble and pop it...they can have a quiet place where they can do dances and the Indians can show them how to be nice " This one was actually caught on video..uploading as we speak
 
#3
lol, well copulating and

lol, well copulating and results are sort of mathematical :p
 
#4
I must've atended the wrong

I must've atended the wrong math classes then, 1+1 rarely equals 3 in my experience. ;) I wish I had something to contribute but I can't really translate all the weird stuff my 4 year old says...
 
#5
When I was 5 the local news

When I was 5 the local news paper in St. Cloud, FL interviewed my kindergarten class.

I was asked "What would you do if you were President? My response: "I would dig a hole in the ground and live in it."

I of course knew nothing of politics... but living in the ground was a way cool idea. :)

S. Pimp.
 
#6
 My 4 yr old son had just

My 4 yr old son had just spent a week with his grandpa, we were all in the car one day and he had a toy that wasn't working quite right, he threw it on the floor and yelled "damn it to hell!" We had to have a "proper language" talk with grandpa.
 
#7
I love this thread.  Children

I love this thread. Children are so precious, so sweet, so pure. I actually have a journal I keep with just the funny things my kids say in it.

The other day, my four year old said, "I want a piece of quiet!"

We were at Six Flags in the women's restroom, and there was one of those Tampon machines there...geez. It had a picture of the tampon with the string...geez. My 7 year old caught sight of it and says, "They sell dynamite here?" Geez!

When my little one is praying before supper, he says, "Thank God for eating, Amen!" That's his prayer, and he's sticking to it...apparently.

My mom was visiting from Florida, and she was helping my youngest put his shoes on. He says to her, "What is that horrible smell coming from you?"

My mom was talking to my 7 year old on the phone, and he's explaining his day to her, "I went to the swimming pool today and I touched the bottom at the deep end. Every thing went fine, of course, I'm talking to you."

One morning, I was holding my youngest, Casey, in a blanket on the front porch, watching my oldest at the curb in front of our house waiting for the school bus. Casey says (something like), "Mommy your thorns are hurting me." He was talking about my unshaven legs.

My oldest came home from his first day of second grade and announces he has a new best friend. His daddy asked him, "What's his name?" Cole says, "I don't know."
 
#8
Cat meat, that's hysterical,

Cat meat, that's hysterical, Zum!
 
#9
Zum - my youngest has used

Zum - my youngest has used the butterflies in his butt expression too! Where did they get that from???

TJ - I've had the same experience about the best friend's name thing. Amazing that they just don't care about names!

I admit I cuss like a sailor, and my favourite exclamation is "Aw, F*CK!" when something goes really wrong. When Lil P was about two years old I was on my way somewhere driving and I forgot something at home. In an effort NOT to drop the f-bomb, I just said, "Aw...!" From the back seat I heard his little voice exclaim, "F*CK!" I laughed my ass off, although it was not one of my proudest moments.

My oldest was once playing in the mud and I said, "[Lil E], what are you doing?" He said in his happiest voice ever, "I'm making a mess!" I think he was about two and a half (he's now 8).

Lil E was a huge Thomas the Tank Engine fan and he called Annie and Clarabel "AchyBeard".

Lil E also called the movie Star Wars "Star Whores". This is my personal fave.

In the last few months, Lil P was trying to type in the word "robots" for a computer search and he asked, "Daddy, how do you spell 'robots'? I already got the w." Yeah, he still pronounces it "wobots". That one was tweet-worthy.

And the one from childhood I like the best was something my brother said. My grandmother used to bake cakes for weddings and such, and one night she was making a cake and it was late, so she just threw all the utensils in the bowl and put it in the sink and ran water in it. My brother burst into tears (I think he was 3 or 4). She asked why he was crying so and he said, "Well, I fought I might get to wick the beatows!" (thought I might get to lick the beaters). We often got to lick the bowl when she was finished but I guess due to the late hour she forgot about it. I have no idea why that's so funny to me but to this day I tease him about it (and yes, he's younger).
 
#10
Ha, those are sweet,

Ha, those are sweet, Heather. My little ones like to wick the beatows too.
 
#11
TJ the dynamite one had me

TJ the dynamite one had me ROFL literally!
 
#12
Hahahaha... ooh... S. Pimp,

Hahahaha... ooh... S. Pimp, I think I might die from laughing too hard, haha. Maybe we should all get together and elect you just to see if you follow through with your promises, haha. I'm pretty sure I would have been very happy to be told I could live in a hole when I was a little kid. I think our politicians need to make note of the simplicity of you plan, haha.

Star whores, haha. One of my teachers a couple years ago told us a story about how a little kid who lived next door to him asked him "Have you seen whores?" "Whores. The movie." "Whores!" (The kid was trying to say "Holes", but it wasn't coming out that way, haha.)
 
#13
We have always tried to teach

We have always tried to teach our boys about giving and the spirit of Christmas. A couple of years ago, my wife and youngest were going into a Target. Out in front was the guy ringing a bell for the Salvation Army. The wife puts some change in the bucket and gives Bridger some change to put in, which he willingly does. When they had finished shopping and were leaving the store, the door opens automatically and there's the Salvation Army guy, still ringing his bell by his bucket. Bridger looks up at his mom and says, "Mommy, do we have to pay to get out of the store too?
 
#14
Our daughter was 7 when Diane

Our daughter was 7 when Diane was pregnant with our second, and like many we knew the gender already.

"What are we going to name him" she asked.

"We'll name him after Great Grandpa" was our reply.

"Yeah, that's a really good idea. I miss him a lot and that would really be a good way to remember him forever.

But it sure will sound funny calling a little baby Great Grandpa!"
 
#15
Hysterical, Mike!  Kids are

Hysterical, Mike! Kids are so smart.

That is TOO funny, Board.
 
#16
I'm dying here...these kids

I'm dying here...these kids are cracking me up! Good stuff guys, thanks for sharing:)
 
#18
Sometimes adults can be just

Sometimes adults can be just as amusing.

I knew a 25 year old lady from South America who had somewhat mastered the English language and the ways of the United States.

Crossing the bridge to Canada from Detroit for her first ever visit to that land, she was surprised to see a McDonalds.

This was 1980, so she thought of it as such an America only thing.

"Are the McDonald's here owned by the same company as....oh wait, I forgot, every one is a french fries, right?"
 
#19
This is way too funny.When

This is way too funny.

When my youngest was ready to enter kindergarten, my husband asked him if he was ready for school, if he new his numbers and ABC's.

With a concern on his face he reply, "daddy, I know my ABC's and my numbers but i am really worried about school"

"and why is that" my husband reply. My son sadly looks at my husband and says, " am worried because I don't know anything about the universe"
 
#20
Haha, kids can be so profound

Haha, kids can be so profound sometimes. When I got home from kindergarten my first day I told my parents "Well, I still don't know how to read and right." Haha. Everyone told me you learned to read in school, so I figured it would be a one day thing.
 
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