Check out those epic legs bitches!
So I ran my personal favorite race this weekend; the James Page Blubber Run 5K. It's my favorite because it revolves around my two other passions besides running:drinking and dressing up in costume. It also involves running while drinking, which I suppose is also a passion because it combines the two. In fact, running plays such a minor role in this race, that really the only reason I ran was because the first beer garden was two miles away and there were too many people on thecourse to catch a cab.
The race starts at 10am,a particularly late timebecause nobody gives a rat. Igot there at 8am because Ienjoy the people watching, and it's the only way to get a good parking spot in the tailgating parking lot (yeah, when is the last time you tailgated before a race?). Iwas met shortly after by my childhood friend Jenna.
MEEEEEOOOW! She's married fellas.
Anyway, as you can see, I dressed up as a Greek warrior or something. Jenna was a cat. We were joined by the rest of our montley crew in a few minutes.
My personal favorite is the dude dressed as Forrest Gump...you know, while he was just ruuuunnnning.
All of the other runners in our group are Crossfitters, so they do cool stuff like this.
This race is so low key that they don't actually have time chips, or even an official race clock to give you a time of any sorts. But there is still a little bit of strategy involved in the race. Namely...you need to start out fast so that they don't run out of beer.Included inyour race entry swag are two beer tickets for some yummy James Page beer. You can redeem that either at the end of the race, or at the mid-race beer stop.
The genius of a beer stop at mile 2 should already be readily apparent to all of you, so Iwon't dwell. Istarted at the front of the pack and ran my ass off to the beer stand. The first part of the race goes immediately from a wide city street to a much smaller footbridge. The result is a bottleneck within the first couple of seconds. I wasn't letting anyone get in the way of my mid-race fuel though, and shouted "Excuse me...Greek God coming through!" People parted with ease, either because they wanted to see a real Greek god, or because it was slightly terrifying to hear someone shout that at them.
After passing Iusually heard something about running in sandals. Dude...you're dressed as Fred Flinstone wearing a pair of pink and blue New Balance. At least my costume matches!
Some other things Inoticed. First, I can see why you all like your kilts. Running in a tunic...surprisingly comfy. Fear of exposing Mount Olympus to the world...diminished rapidly as the race went on. I don't know if I'm on the bandwagon yet...but I did take one freeballing step closer.
Second...I finally found a way to tie my Luna Sandals that didn't suck. Theystill aren't barefoot...but Ihad to wearthem today to stay in character.
Iwas one of the first people to the beer stand, and partook in a frosty brew while waiting for my friend Joe. Joe aspired to be as awesomeas me at the beginning of the race, but got lost in thepack becausehe didn'thave anything cool to yell like me. He pirated the race, and chose not to dress up. Soreally, allhe could haveyelled was, "Old bald guycoming through." But of course nobody would have believedthat his ass waswas actually passing them and probably wouldn't have moved. He dropped back from me after the firstmile.
Afterdrinking a beer Ihad newenergy from deliciousempty calories. Ichargedahead even harder.Mostlybecausea lot of peoplehad passed up the beer garden at mile 2, and I didn't want to have to waitin line for beer at the end.Again, Ileft my friend Joe in thedust. I finished witha muchdesired sub-60 minute PR. Last year Idrank two beers at the garden and walked to the bar without finishing. This year Ifigured I would at least finish the race. So we crossed the finish line,got our beers and then walked over to a local bar for more.
On the way, Isaw this littlenumber. Theywon best costume for the day. I think they're supposedto be the scene in Indiana Jones with the boulder. Iguess theguy playing the boulder lost a bet.
I also wanted to give a shout out to the costumes that Isaw, including:bag of jelly beans, the whole cast of Wizard of Oz, a road crew that was making themselves into physical obstructions on the race course and diverting race traffic, the entire cast of Saved by the Bell, a six pack of beer, and many more Imay have forgotten.
The day ended like it had began...with booze.
I'm trying to look all heroic in this picture. Ithink Iend up looking like I'm doing Zoolander's "Blue Steel". The dork on the right is Joe...a very good friend of mine who is not a memberof BRS (hence all of the digs), although he occasionally runs barefoot.
Anyway...James Page Blubber Run....good times.
