Dialog with Mom about Barefoot Running

With Thanksgiving over, you're probably just recovering from a hectic trip to Grandma's or a house full of relatives. Either way, you likely spent some quality time listening to your parents scold you about a) your or your kids' eating habits, b) your inability to pick up a phone, or c) your generation's lack of respect for _______ (fill in the blank).

I'm still jealous of you. I have to fly around the world to see my family: my brother in India, my sister in LA, and my mom in Kansas. But it's nice to telephone or skype on holidays.

The chat I had with my mom and sister this weekend was pleasant, and we touched on a range of topics. I finally broke down and told them I started a blog about barefoot running. I'm not sure my sister believed it. She knows I'm not on Facebook, and frankly, I think up to now she had been thanking God that her wacked little brother had only found business uses for the internet. After hearing my revelation, I'm guessing she's scared crapless thinking I'm going to post that picture from her '80s Madonna phase, or write about the time my brother and I got her to eat turkey poop (my lips are sealed).

The one nice thing about NOT being able to see your family in person during the holidays is that its much easier to avoid uncomfortable conversations. Like the one I will eventually have with my mom about barefoot running. Here's how that's going to go:

Mom: "Jason, how is the barefoot running going?"

Me: "It's good mom. My feet and body are really adjusting well."

Mom: "Are you being careful? You don't want to get another stress fracture."

Me: "Mom, that only happened because I did TMTS."

Mom: "What's TMTS?"

Me: "It stands for Too Much Too Soon."

Mom: "Why do you kids all talk like that, shortening everything these days? It's as if no one has time to hold a normal conversation anymore."

Me: "It's just easier, mom. In the barefoot running community, everyone knows what TMTS means."

Mom: "How exclusive IS your little community?"

Me: "It's not officially a club or anything, mom. It's sort of a grass roots thing, so people go to common places on the internet and share experiences, tips, crap like that."

Mom: "You know I don't like you using that bathroom word. Alex and Julia are already using words like that, but that doesn't mean we have to condone it."

Me: "Mom, it's no big deal. They even say 'crap' on TV these days."

Mom: "I've told you a million times TV is the reason families are falling apart and there is so much violence in the world."

Me: "Yeah, I know mom."

Mom: "Well, why don't I see other people jogging without shoes?"

Me: "Because it's pretty new. The research about the advantages of barefoot running has just started coming out."

Mom: "So it's just a fad, then."

Me: "No, mom. People have been running barefoot for millions of years."

Mom: "This isn't going to be like when you joined Amway or tried to sell those water filters, is it?"

Me: "No, mom. Heck, Simone is even running barefoot with me now."

Mom: "Who's going to take care of your kids when you both get injured?"

Me: "Jesus Freakin' Christ, mom! We aren't going to get injured! There are thousands of people doing this. There's even the Barefoot Runners Society that has over 2,000 members."

Mom: "I thought you said there wasn't an official club."

Me: "Look, it's mostly just a forum to bring people together to learn and get them motivated."

Mom: "It sure sounds a lot like Amway."

Me: "IT'S NOT AMWAY, MOM.!"

Mom: "There is no reason to raise your voice. I just want what's best for you."

Me: "I know, mom."

Mom: "So how do you protect your feet from bacteria and dog excrement?"

Me: "I keep my eyes on the ground and just run around it."

Mom: "But you CAN'T see bacteria..."

Me: "I know, mom. But I always shower after I run, and the skin on my feet is now so thick and leathery, I don't think anything can penetrate it."

Mom: "You say that now, but just wait until you have a giant worm sticking out of your leg. Remember what your brother said about those worms in Africa when he was in the Peace Corps?"

Me: "Holy crap, mom! They don't have worms like that in Germany!"

Mom: "But I read your blog post about running in South Africa."

Me: "So you DO read my blog!?"

Mom: "Only because I want to make sure you don't embarass our family."

Me: "Oh, don't worry about that mom. I wouldn't dare."



I love ya, mom.

*Posted here at BRS and at www.runbarefooteurope.blogspot.com

Comments

That was a good one. That made me laugh. Comparing barefoot running to Amway. Oh funny. Now barefoot running is an MLM? Oh geez. ha ha ha.

At least you had a somewhat interesting conversation. All I get is "what if you step on something?" or the famous "oh Ineed support/cushion", etc etc. I don't push it on anyone. But people are SO defensive as if you are trying to sell them something. Dude, I'm just telling you how Irun.

Thanks for the laugh!
 
Laughter is the best medicine. It's a riot talking to people about barefoot running, especially this time of year. I'll be writing about those conversations soon, too.
 
Hilarious!



By the way, if your mom brings up the worms again, tell her to donate some money to Jimmy Carter - I think she's referring to Guinea worm, which people get from drinking contaminated water, not walking in it... but anyhow, the Carter Center is doing some great work to combat Guinea worm. Some of my holiday almsgiving is going to Jimmy Carter!
 
Good tip on the Guinea worm and Jimmy Carter. If you enjoyed the dialog with my mom, take a look at the chat I had with my son recently. It's in the post entitled The Joy of a Barefoot Child, Part Two. You can find it at www.runbarefooteurope.blogspot.com as well.
 

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