Out of the mouth of parents...

The Ramzev

Chapter Presidents
Jun 14, 2010
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Milford, DE
So, along the lines of the other thread, what white lies have you told your kids? I am constantly making stuff up when they ask questions, my favorite is...

When my daughter was little we were heading to the mall, she asked why they call it a mall. I told her that a long time ago a man had a big piece of land, he built a large building and decided to put some stores in it. When his partner asked him what stores he wanted he said, "Get 'emall"

I've told my son that planes fly because they are filled with helium.

I got a call from a telemarketer once at the dinner table, I answered it and proceeded to pretend that I was talking to the President ("yes, Mr. President." "I wouldn't do that Mr. President.") My daughter was quite impressed, the telemarketer was quite confused.
 
I don't lie to my kids...... Just kidding! I can't think of anything right off the bat though. Some things I've caught myself saying though:

-Take your hands out of your pants. You are going to make it fall off!

-If you stick your finger up your nose, a monster will bite it off.

-Don't sit on your toy naked.

-Don't put your hat in the toilet.

-Don't sit on top of your brother (who is 4 months old). He is NOT a horse.
 
So I don't own any children, but I know folks that do...

At around age 2 or 3 I think, my friends' son discovered a certain protuberance just south of his belly button...and he looooooved to touch it. Always had his hand down his pants, much to the distress of his parents. One weekend I was visiting and witnessed this and developed a solution: Whenever the kid would make a grab for it I would shout "Show of hands!" and place my hands in the air; he would immediately follow suit. His parents continued to use that method until he grew out of that phase (or at least grew out of grabbing at it in public) and they're using it now on his younger brother.

Now - once we were in the living room and he was in the adjacent den; we thought he was going for a secret grab, so we all yell "Show of hands" to which he responded "I'm not touching it!"
 
One that's stuck with me for a long time. Me and a friend wanted our money from his father after mowing their lawn. His father came out, took a look and said, 'I'm not paying for that half-assed job'

That was a new word for us and my friend asked what it meant.

I still lol at his father's reply: It means you only did half and the half you did looks like an ass!
 
man, another contest that no one bothered to tell me to prepare for. right now i can't remember because i was always making something up. like "i'm going to beat you if you don't ......."
 
Hey, Jen, we have an Old Man smiley now! :oldman: Ha!
 
Half-ass was one of my dad's favorite words! Ah, brings back good memories. He would yell at us 8 kids all the time about our half-assing this or half-assing that. I say it to my kids now. Hee.

His other favorite saying was, "What part of NO don't you understand." He even found a hat that read that on it, so he wore it all the time.
 
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Half-ass was one of my dad's favorite words! Ah, brings back good memories. He would yell at us 8 kids all the time about our half-assing this or half-assing that. I say it to my kids now. Hee.

His other favorite saying was, "What part of NO don't you understand." He even found a hat that read that on it, so he wore it all the time.
I say both of these! :joyful: The second one I say to Jen nearly every time I see her after she tries to hug me repeatedly. :D